Page 61 of Three Pucking Words
And Bodhi seems to know that. “Are you trying to find reasons to withhold our friendship?”
I scoff half-heartedly. “No.” I think about it, petting Puck for comfort. “Maybe.”
He huffs out a laugh. “I wouldn’t want you to miss out on having me as a friend. I’m pretty awesome. It’s going to be a life changing experience.”
I don’t know if he moved or I did, but there’s not nearly as much room between us as when he first walked in. And based on the position we were in only five minutes ago, I don’t know if I can trust this close proximity.
“Life changing, huh?” I question.
His eyes flicker between my mouth and my gaze. “Yeah, it’ll definitely be life changing. The friendship, I mean.”
I somehow doubt that’s what he means.
When I see his eyes dip back down to my mouth as I wet my lips, I can’t help but say, “Friends don’t want to kiss each other.”
Like I want you to kiss me right now,I almost say. I hold it back by the grace of whatever God exists out there.Like I wanted you to kiss me in the hallway. Like I wanted you to after dinner.
His gaze darkens. “No,” he murmurs, his throat bobbing as he forces his attention to the wall. “No, they don’t.”
Bodhi steps back, picking up his water and drinking nearly the entire thing. “Do you mind if I go take a shower? I could use one. Then we can put something on TV.”
He wants me to stay? “I can show myself out. I’m sure you want some alone time—”
“I want you to stay,” he insists. But the main three words I hold onto for dear life are“I want you”as if those were the only ones he said.
That scares me. “What about Gemma?”
“What about her?”
“You don’t mind if she sees me here?”
He cocks his head. “I don’t keep my friends a secret, Honor. I don’t keep anyone that I care about a secret.”
Those are loaded words that do way too much to the beating organ in my chest. “Oh.” I wet my lips and stare down at Puck. I could say I need to take him for a walk or go home and feed him, but something tells me Bodhi would find solutions to anything I made up.
He’d want to walk Puck together in his neighborhood or order dog food for one-hour delivery. He seemsthatdetermined to have me here.
I tell myself that’s the only reason I say, “Okay” in a quiet, resigned tone. I also tell myself that I can be friends with someone like Bodhi Hoffman even if I’m attracted to him. Even if I wouldn’thatethe idea of kissing more than his cheek.
It almost makes me sad. Because telling myself those things makes me just like my mother.
A liar.
*
Two days later,I’m listening to my travel playlist that has no real organization to it. A minute and a half ago, I was jamming to Katy Perry and all about how she wants to kiss a girl, and now Elvis’s smooth voice is serenading me about loving me tender. When I downloaded music last night, I’d been too in my head to pay much attention to what I was doing because of Max.
Stupid,stupidMax Decker.
I swear it’s like he sensed I was spending quality time with another man and wanted to interject after all this time of no contact. I’d been enjoying myself with Bodhi way more than I thought I would. We watchedThe Terminaluntil Gemma came downstairs rubbing her eyes and asked us why Forest Gump sounded so different and then changed it to a kid’s movie with animals singing in some sort of talent competition headed by a koala with gambling debts. Gemma sang every single song, and her dad watched her with a light in his eyes that I had the audacity to be a little jealous of.
But then my phone went off, and I saw a text message from the very man I hadn’t thought about for one second since Bodhi had come downstairs from the shower with wet hair and a new pair of sweatpants that fit his long legs, and other parts of him, a little too well.
The message only said one word, but it was enough to sour the good mood I’d been buzzing with as I listened to a six-year-old’s rendition of “Still Standing” by Elton John. It completelyobliterated any feeling I felt for the almost kiss that happened between me and her father.
Douchebag:Hey
Mila is the one who changed his name in my phone when I refused to let her delete and block his contact.“What if there’s an emergency? What if something goes wrong with the divorce papers and he needs to tell me? What if—”
