Page 20 of Three Pucking Words
Her eyes rake over my features before her bottom lip draws into her mouth.
To sweeten the deal, I say, “I’ll even make you banana bread withextrachocolate chips.”
Releasing her lip, she smiles. “Are you trying to bribe me to be friends with you, Bodhi Hoffman?”
I can only imagine my eyes sparkle with mischief. “Depends, Honor Erikson. Is it working?”
She scoots her chair back and stands, looking down at me with a knowing grin. “I guess that depends how good your banana bread is.”
I stand too, extending out my hand out to her to shake. “Challenge accepted.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Honor
I’m not surehow long I stare at the papers before a hand comes down on my back, startling me.
“Geez,” I breathe, staring wide-eyed at Mila as she rounds the kitchen island and slides into the stool across from me. “I didn’t even hear you come in.”
She looks between me and the papers. “I called your name at least twice after knocking. You didn’t answer, and I was getting worried. I used the spare key you keep under the gnome. Which, by the way, is way too easy. Move it. And I’m not talking under the mat or on the doorframe. That’s how people get axe murdered.”
I roll my eyes at her chiding. “This is Long Island. I don’t think we have any murderers.”
“Have you not heard of the Long Island Killer?” she doubts dubiously.
Okay, she has me there. “He’s been arrested, and I’m pretty sure he only killed prostitutes. I think I’m safe.”
She grabs a grape from my plate that I haven’t touched since getting the papers and pops one into her mouth. “You’re right. You don’t have enough sex to be mistaken for one.”
I snort. “Thanks, I guess.”
She gestures to what I’m holding. “What are those?”
Wetting my lips, I drop the paperwork onto the counter and swallow. “My divorce papers.”
My best friend offers me a sympathetic smile when I finally lift my head. “Are you okay?”
I’m glad she doesn’t pull out confetti and starts throwing it or clapping while cussing out Max’s name. I bet she wants to, but she knows how bittersweet this is for me.
“It was only a matter of time,” I reply quietly, staring down at the legal jargon printed on the sheet. “I knew it was coming. I didn’t think I’d feel so…sad.”
My relationship was over a long time ago, but it isn’t easy throwing away a decade with somebody.If you hadn’t lied, it wouldn’t have been so long,the voice of reason reminds me.
If I’d been honest with myself, I could have walked away sooner. But it wouldn’t have changed the hurt. The confusion. The regrowth that it would require to stand on my own two feet. Not that I’m doing a particularly great job at that now, since I’m residing in my father’s guest house with no job, no car, and limited skillsets.
“Of course you’re sad,” Mila answers warmly, reaching out for my hand. “He may have been an asshole toward the end, but you loved him. Anybody in your position would feel the same way you do right now.”
Loved. That may be the saddest word ever used in the past tense. “He posted a picture of his new girlfriend online,” I tell her, a sour taste forming on my tongue. I’d blocked him for a while on every social media platform, then unblocked him out of curiosity. It was a poor decision, since the very first thing I saw was his updated profile picture kissing a brunette girl who was a hell of a lot slimmer than me. “I suspected he was talking to someone toward the end, but I didn’t have the heart to ask.”
God, how pathetic is that? I willingly turned a blind eye because of denial. Ilethim emotionally cheat on me; let him get away with whatever he wanted to save face. To save mymarriage. Tonotbe like my mother, who went from man to man to man without ever settling down.
But was I any better than Max? I wasn’t happy. I hadn’t turned down Bodhi’s flirtations or touches during a point in our marriage when I didn’t know if I could do it anymore. I’dwantedsomebody else. More than that, I wanted somebody else—somebody other than my husband—to want me back.
Scraping a hand down my face, I groan into my palm. “Seeing him smile in that photo…” My voice drops as I close my eyes. Max and I were happy at some point, weren’t we? “I don’t remember the last time he looked that happy with me, Mila. It was probably when his game launched, and he saw the sale numbers. He gave me the biggest hug.”
Her grip on my hand tightens. “Hey. Don’t do that. Don’t put all the blame on yourself. It takes two to make a relationship work, Honor. He could have tried harder. He could have been more understanding of your health and a lot less selfish when it came to his career. You needed someone to be there for you the way you were for him, and he wasn’t. That’s onhim.”
Logically, I know she’s right. Max used to be way more attentive with me. He would cook my favorite dishes, buy me my favorite chocolate, and watch sappy romance movies with me even though he hated them. But as my health started declining, and my weight started increasing, things…changed. He’d become busier with work and at home less. I’d do my own cooking and leave leftovers only for him to come home and say he ate out with his friends or coworkers. He’d stay late at the bar to watch whatever game was on. There was always an excuse.
