Page 69 of Three Pucking Words
My best friend looks thoroughly disappointed in the development. “That’s boring. Why exactly is this a bad thing?”
“Because—” I stop myself. Think about it. Then drop my shoulders. “Because I like him. Likereallylike him.”
Understanding slowly, and I meanslooowly, morphs over her face. “Oh. Okay. I’m with you now.” She mulls it over, rubbing her lips together. “I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest. Think you can do that?”
I stare at our breakfast. “I can try.”
“Who are you holding back for? If it’s Max, I’m going to smack you. If it’s because you’re afraid, I still might smack you.”
I peak up at her. “Why are you so violent today?”
She takes another sip of her coffee. “Because my spin instructor tried killing me this morning. I’m in a feisty mood.”
It doesn’t make sense, but I nod anyway.
“I still want an answer,” she informs me. “I want to know why you’re letting yourself believe that liking somebody is such a horrible thing.”
“It’s…” I close my eyes, trying to get her to understand. “It’s too soon. It’s toomuch. It’s—”
“It isn’t like you have to marry him, honey,” she tells me sympathetically, which only makes me groan louder.
“And that!” Her eyes widen as I gesture toward her. “He calls me ‘honey’ like I’m…like I’m…I don’t know.Something.”
Her expression brightens. “He gave you a pet name? That’s so cute.”
She isn’t seeing the problem with this. “Can you focus please? I’m having a slight panic attack over waking up in bed next to a guy I like—”
“Who called you honey,” she adds.
I glare. “Who called me honey,” I add, albeit begrudgingly. “And who makes me feel all fuzzy and warm and gooey and out of my element. It’s terrifying.”
The sympathy is back, but it’s lighter than before. There’s an air of happiness in the way she smiles warmly. “It just means you have a crush. Who wouldn’t if Bodhi-Freaking-Hoffman pays them the same amount of attention he does you? I’m eighty-percent lesbian and I think my panties would flood if he gave me a pet name.”
Our seat neighbors huff and stand to leave, glaring at Mila the entire time.
To which my best friend throws her hands up as they walk away, and says, “This is New York City, babes. Toughen up!”
I shake my head at her, thankful that the couple doesn’t turn around or say anything. The last thing I want is confrontation when I’m on the verge of a meltdown already.
Mila turns back to me. “It is not too soon for you towantsomething good for yourself, Honor. We’ve been through this already, and we will keep going through it until you understand that you deserve to be happy. Max does not get to dictate what that means for you.”
I know I’m allowed to move on and be with whoever I want to be. So why does there feel like a block in my way? “There’s a part of me that feels like wanting Bodhi is bad. He’s so different than Max.”
“They used to say eating raw cookie dough was bad for us, but we’re still alive. And youneedsomeone who’s nothing like Max. Someone doesn’t need to rely on you for anything, and who wants to take care of you even though they know you can take care of yourself.”
“Max didn’t rely on me” is my pathetic answer, to which she rolls her eyes so dramatically I think she may see the inside of her head.
“We both know that’s a lie, H. But for the sake of this conversation, and my sanity, I’m not going to remind you of the reason why. Because then I’ll get madder than I already am at that asshat, track him down, and throat punch him Brooklyn style.”
I don’t know what that means, but I believe she’d do it.
“Back to the main convo. Everyone has a rebound period,” Mila adds, shrugging. “Maybe you need someone to dust off the cobwebs. If Bodhi is willing…”
Swallowing, I stare down at the cinnamon roll that I was craving when I got here. Now? Not so much. “Aren’t rebounds supposed to be with men at bars that you only see one time and never again?”
Mila’s grin stretches across half her face. “If we’re being technical, youdidmeet him at a bar.”
I glare at her. “I didn’t exactly think I was going to see him again, even after finding out he played for my dad. I was in a very different part of my life. Like, you know,marriedto someone else.”
