Page 45 of Taming the Scot
Bronwen nodded slowly, her gaze shifting around the small group and a genuine smile of happiness touching her cheeks, though the sadness remained in her eyes.
She was so incredibly beautiful, inside and out. If she truly got her wish and they parted ways, he was going to be the most unhappy man in Scotland. But he hoped that her agreeing to accompany them would give him a little more time to show her that she belonged with him.
11
Bronwen pinched her skirts to still the sudden shaking of her fingers upon entering the docks at Leith. It’d been several glorious weeks away from the city and all the dangers it held for her. Though she was dressed differently, surrounded by the aristocratic Irvine family, that didn’t change who she was.
She closed her eyes for a minute, letting the gentle, salty sea breeze blow toward her face. Taking in the cacophony of the docks. Men shouting, the captain's horn booming to warn the men at the dock to pull them in. Sailors aboard the Duke’s Sails, calling out this order and that. The clomp of boots as they maneuvered the rigging. And the chatter of the Irvine sisters behind her.
What she didn’t hear was Euan. But she could feel him standing close, beyond her line of vision. A sudden shift in the wind, and she caught a trace of his spicy scent.
Not for the first time, she asked herself why she’d agreed to come. The look in his eyes in the ballroom, the way her heart had skipped a beat when he’d begged, his sister’s excitement, and because she was a glutton for putting herself in unpleasant situations.
When she opened her eyes, the docks were nearer now. Men covered in sweat hauling crates. Lads were running this way and that. Captains were giving direction.
Standing on the pier they were being hauled to was Emilia and Anastasia, both dressed in trousers, arms crossed and watching the ship approach. Funny enough, here on the docks, they looked very much like they belonged. They were grinning and chatting. Emilia turned to one of the men who passed her and said something that made him cackle loud enough Bronwen could hear it.
“Are ye all right?” Euan asked, coming to stand beside her, resting his hand only a few inches from hers on the rail.
“Aye. Why would I no’ be?” But she knew why not and why he was asking. The men who were looking for her wouldn’t stop because she’d disappeared for a few weeks. Just as her nightmares wouldn’t go away simply because she wished them to.
“Ye’re a fierce lass,” he said with an appreciative smile.
But fierce was not what she felt, even though she nodded in agreement. She felt as if all the blood in her body had drained to her feet, giving the bottom half of her so much weight that her feet remained rooted in place, unmoving. Perhaps it wasn’t too late to change her mind. She could always wave the Irvine family off and ask the ship’s crew where their next destination was.
Panic filled her throat, ready to explode. But then Euan’s pinky finger slid over hers, back and forth over the top. A slight movement, but no matter how small, it made a huge impact on her, settling the rambling of her brain, and the panicked fluttering in her chest. Knowing that he was there, that he understood her past and hadn’t cast her out, meant so much to her. She’d been so certain he would, and yet he’d proved her wrong once again. Bronwen wanted to fold herself into his arms. How was she going to walk away when this was all over? Worse, how was she going to watch his quest for a bride unfold?
The thought of never seeing him again sent a sharp pain inside her chest, as though her heart were cracking in half. Bronwen glanced down at their pinky fingers, still touching, and then up at his face. What was she doing?
The more she let him touch her, the more she looked at him, the more she let him care about her, the more she found herself falling. As if the earth had opened up and sucked her into the gaping cavern, and no matter how hard she tried to claw her way out of it, she was never going to be on the other side again.
Never going to know who Euan was. Never going to forget the memories of his smile, his laugh, his kiss. Never going to forget his compassion and kindness and the care he took. The way he promised to protect her.
At that moment, she had the terrifying realization that she loved him. And this from a lass who barely knew what love was. But there, standing erect on her heart was a tiny bard shouting into her mind’s space that she, Bronwen Holmes, was desperately in love with a man she couldn’t have. Knowing it made her limbs tingle, her head dizzy. Her tongue was swollen. Almost as if she were sick with a fever, and somehow, she had to find a way to calm it down.
A ship’s horn blew in the distance, startling her enough that she jumped, and the spell between them was broken. She tucked her hands down at her sides and worked to calm her breathing.
“As ye said, they will no’ be looking for me where we’re going.” She tried on a smile, feeling more confident than she had a day ago.
“And even if they do, I’ll protect ye. My friends will protect ye.”
What had she ever done to deserve his protection? The question milled in her brain like a mealworm, eating up space. She tried to shove it aside, to be grateful, but it was hard for her to do that. Hard for her to believe there were people out there who would give and not expect anything in return.
And yet, the Irvine family appeared to be just that. Givers, while Bronwen was so used to only takers. It was a tough lesson to learn that this sort of thing existed. People willing to help people for no reason other than they cared. And yet, she was trying as diligently as she could to grapple with it.
“Thank ye, Euan,” she said softly, hoping none of his sisters heard her use his given name. As intimate as they’d been, it felt only natural when no one was about to call him Euan rather than Captain.
At the same time, she knew how infinitely opposite it was from what the guidebook advised. Perhaps she should have left it back at the castle. Instead, she’d tucked it amongst her gowns. Though she’d gone through it a hundred times, there still were answers she needed within its pages.
With the ship pulled into the pier and the platform lowered for them to debark, they assembled and walked down the gangway to the docks. Bronwen kept her gaze down, casting surreptitious glances about the dock as she kept her balance with the gentle sway of the water. Every man in a cloak was a ruffian ready to rush her. Every hidden face behind a crate was one of them, ready to pounce. She could barely breathe from the fear; her gait was stiff.
She could feel the intense stares of the men on the lookout for her. But where?
Euan’s hand slid about her elbow, keeping her steady and upright as he guided her. Again, she felt soothed by that simple touch. The piercing gaze of the watcher seemed to disappear, and she was able to tell herself it must have been her imagination.
By the time they reached the docks, she felt a little better. Emilia and Anastasia greeted them, each hugging Bronwen. She breathed a sigh of relief at seeing them both so healthy and happy.
“Welcome back to Edinburgh,” Emilia said. “We’ve arranged carriages to take ye to Irvine House.”
