Page 19 of Promise of a Knight
Alexandra’s shoulders slumped in defeat. He hated seeing her like that.
“I didn’t come to court to simply serve Princess Margaret,” she said.
Alaric blinked, keeping his face blank of any reaction, though his gut twisted. Why did he have a feeling she was about to tell him something he didn’t want to hear? Something that would change his view of her completely? Why did he feel he was about to be gutted?
“I am the youngest of ten. The most mischievous of all my parents’ children. The most unwanted. Are ye certain ye still want to hear this?” Whatever fear had been written on her face before was replaced by resentment.
Alaric’s heart broke for her. “I will listen to anything you wish to tell me today, tomorrow, just as long as youarespeaking to me. Don’t hold back, Alexandra. I would hear it all.” He touched her cheek. “I don’t want to arrest you.”
She half-laughed, though it was bitter. “’Haps not after I tell ye all.”
He didn’t say anything, didn’t want to react in a way that would make her cease her words. Alexandra’s eyes shifted and she turned to the side slightly, staring up at what could be seen of the moon through the arrow slit.
“My parents sent me to court to listen. To find out anything and everything I could. They sent me here… To spy. But they also sent me here to take something.”
Alaric’s insides twisted. Alexandra was a spy? He felt his blood chilling.
“They wanted me to take a necklace. One that belonged to my grandmother. She was mistress to the king’s brother, and when she died… her necklace was reclaimed by the crown.” Alexandra flicked her gaze to his, staring straight into his eyes. “Now ye know the truth about me. About my family. Arrest me. Lock me up. Do it right now.”
Alaric observed how the tears had dried up. The pulse point at her neck had quickened. She looked… hopeful.
“Is that all of the truth? Are you a spy? Because I do not believe you.”
Alexandra pushed off the wall, coming closer to him, her eyes wide with unspent anger. “What do ye know about me?” She poked him in the chest. “Nothing.”
Alaric smiled tenderly. “I know enough, Alexandra. I know that you are full of fire. That there is more to you than being a tenth child. I know you are clever, intelligent, and full of sass. That you want more from life than to follow in the footsteps of others. Being in your presence for only a moment makes me laugh and smile and think, really think.” He stepped closer, letting the heat of his body mingle with hers. “I know I want to kiss you. That you want me to, and you like it when I do... this.”
She trembled before him, but not in fear. He had an idea of what it felt like, to be hopeful, to be full of anger. To be confused and wary. Everything conflicting inside you at once. “I should hate ye. I should hateallof ye. I should want to steal the necklace that belonged to my grandmother back from theSassenachprincess. I should want to destroy all of ye. To be happy that a fire was set and destroyed English things. But I can’t. I won’t. I’m no traitor, Alaric. I’m not my parents. And I hate myself for considering it.” She heaved a breath. “And ye… Ye… Ye make me daft, and dizzy and hot. And, aye, I like kissing ye, but I cannot keep doing so.” She licked her lips, drawing his eyes to that spot. “’Tis not proper at all. Even if I want to. Even if when I’m in yer arms the entire world falls away and for the first time I feel… wanted, needed… cherished.”
Alex pushed away from him again, running up the stairs, the sounds of her slippers slapping against the stone steps echoing, but being drowned out by the pounding of his heart.
What just happened?
Heart pounding, mind reeling, for once in his life, Alaric was struck speechless and had no idea what to do.
Alex poundedup the stairs until she reached the chamber she’d shared with another maiden, relieved to see the other lass had not yet returned.
Holy Mary Mother of God!What had she just confessed to Alaric?Everything!
She ran to the window, noting the fire was mostly put out, and dropped to her knees, hands clasped, eyes on the darkened, smoke filled night. And prayed. Prayed for forgiveness for all of her sins. Prayed her parents would some day find it in their hearts to forgive her, for she was going to betray their wishes. Prayed that Alaric didn’t change his mind about arresting her. Prayed her punishment wasn’t too severe.
All the while she knelt on her knees, atoning for her sins, she waited for the door to burst open and a flood of knights in armor, swords scraping on the stone, to grab hold of her and drag her down the castle stairs to the dungeon.
She’d confessed her purpose for being here. Named her parents treasonous to the king.
Even more discomforting, she’d confessed to Alaric the way he made her feel. She’d never spoken words like that to anyone. Now Alaric knew all her secrets. She’d opened up her chest and laid her truth bare before him.
He’d not pushed back. Hadn’t sneered at her admissions. Hadn’t tossed her over his shoulder and marched her to the dungeon. Saints, but he’d confessed much of the same to her.
What was she to do? There was nothing she could do. He was an English knight, set to leave and return to his own castle across the border in just a few days’ time, a week at most. And what then? She’d most likely never see him again in all her days. She’d be married off to some lowly baron. Nay, she’d not even be that lucky. When her parents found out that she refused to do their bidding, Alex would be sent away. To a convent. A lowly convent, for her parents would not give a dime of her dowry to any decent place. The nuns would cut off her hair and force her to wear a rough woolen gown that scratched over her skin. The rest of her days would be spent repenting and scrubbing until her fingers were cracked and bleeding.
Alex crumpled to the floor, sobbing.
Mayhap she should just run away. Leave all of this behind. Forget about her family, about court. About any obligations or familial duty.
But that also meant leaving Alaric. Perhaps that was what made her sad most of all. Not seeing him. Not kissing him. Not laughing with him. Sparring. There was more to it than simply liking the man.
Alex wrapped her arms around herself, curling up on the floor. What was this painful ache within her chest?
The thought of never seeing Alaric again hurt so badly, it tore apart her heart.
Eyes popping open, Alex was suddenly very clear about one thing, and it frightened her, brought on a fresh bout of tears.
“I’m in love with a Sassenach,” she whispered to the dark.
