Page 81 of Rock & Roll Nights: The Lila and Rivers Edit
“Mrs. Shine?” Lila asked hesitantly. “My name’s Lila Potter. I believe someone has been in touch with you? Told you we were coming?”
The eyes glanced at me one more time and then turned to Lila, the sneer on the mouth growing even more pronounced. “Lila Potter? The girl who says she has my Rivers with her?”
Lila pushed me forward a bit. “Right. Here he is. I wanted to bring him in person so you could... So you could...”
The woman—my mother—jerked herself away from the door and into the dimly lit trailer, and Lila’s voice faded away. Maybe because she was realizing that this wasn’t going to go the way she’d hoped it would.
My heart broke for her a little bit, because I knew exactly how it felt when my mother told you one thing and did another. Lila had lived such a bright, sunny life that it had probably never occurred to her that your mother could care so little for you that she’d give you up without a second thought. She’d probably never imagined any parent would refuse to love their child.
She’d grown up in an entirely different world than I did.
Still. There was a part of me that wanted this just as badly as Lila did. So I stepped into the room, vowing to give the woman a chance to make things up to me. Maybe she just didn’t like strangers, or maybe she needed a moment to think.
She could still do the right thing.
She whirled around and threw herself into an armchair that looked like it had been made in the 70s. And her glare finally turned to me.
“So you’re Rivers,” she said, sounding annoyed, like we were imposing on something important. Her eyes traveled from my eyes down to my feet and back up. “I guess I can see the resemblance. Some sort of rock star now, aren’t you?”
“I guess you could say that,” I said hesitantly.
“All rich and famous and successful.”
It wasn’t a question. It was a sneer.
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” I said, trying to inject some humor into the situation. How the fuck were you supposed to handle something like this? Was there a rule book somewhere that I just hadn’t gotten?
She snorted. “Richer than you would have been if you lived here, that’s for sure. You come around to ask me for something? Or did you finally figure out you had family that needed help?Richard!”
She shouted the name like it was part of the conversation we were having and I jumped. What the hell? Who was Richard? Did she have Tourette or something?
A second later, though, a guy roughly my age emerged from another room, looking... far, far too much like me. I could see it in the eyes and the nose. The sharp jawline. The dark, ruffled hair.
That person was related to me.
“Your little brother,” she snapped. “Richard, meet Rivers. Your big brother. He’s here to help us. Finally give us some of that money he’s been making for years.”
Wait. I had a brother?
We stared at each other, our mouths hanging open in what had to be nearly identical expressions. The image of something like my face staring right back at me was so surreal that I went back to thinking I must be dreaming all of this. It was all too strange. How old was this kid, and when had he been born? I knew from the records that I’d been three when my mom deserted me, so he must be at least three years younger than me. His dad and mine might be the same person. We might have been friends.
Except that she kept him.
And deserted me.
I swung my gaze back to my mom, all the confusion of that boy flooding back into me, and saw her smirking up at me.
“So what is it, Rivers? You come home to make good? Come back to get to know us, finally? Your dad’s not here. Been dead for years. But your brother and I are here. We’re ready to move out of this shit hole. Fine time for you to show up.”
She took a drag of her cigarette and reached over to pour herself a glass of whiskey on the side table, and suddenly Iwasthree again, watching her get drunk at night and forget to make dinner. Knowing that I’d have to climb into the cupboard and look for anything that hadn’t gone bad.
Knowing that she didn’t care enough to take care of me.
Back then, I hadn’t had any value to her, which was why she’d dumped me. Now, the only value I had was money. Fuck, I was surprised she hadn’t tried to find me years ago, just to ask me to give her some of the cash I’d been earning since I was twelve and figured out I had to take care of myself. Maybe she had,and she’d been blocked by my lawyer or Taylor or the record company itself.
Maybe she just hadn’t bothered, and Lila looking for her had given her the opportunity she’d been waiting for.
One thing was for sure: She hadn’t changed. She was still the same trash she’d always been, living in squalid conditions that no human being should have lived in. She’d never tried to improve herself or her situation, and she certainly hadn’t come looking for me.
