Page 31 of Rock & Roll Nights: The Lila and Rivers Edit
I was so angry at Taylor that I wanted to scream at her… but I also couldn’t get over the fact that she had given me a chance to experience Lila in all her glory. And I didn’t think that would have happened unless we’d been alone. Stuck in a meadow in the bed of a truck we’d essentially stolen. Staring at the clouds.
I wondered if this had been more than just a publicity stunt. Could Taylor have known what would happen if we were alone together all afternoon? Had she thought it might actually give us a chance to get to know each other, and start to fall for each other?
Was Taylor that devious?
No. I scoffed at the idea and turned my thoughts toward more important issues. I needed to get one of the roadies to take the truck back and return it to its owner before we got in any real trouble. But I’d do that in the morning.
Right now, we had a show to get to.
I tugged at Lila’s hand, forcing her to walk faster, and strolled through the reception area toward the stairs, my mind on the show ahead of us and wondering why the hell there weren’t any photographers around now, when Lila and I were making ourselves so obvious.
Probably because Taylor hadn’t actually expected us to make it to town at all.
Hell, if she thought we were actually falling for each other, she might have planned for us to stay out there on the road for a full day, just for the pleasure of it. The idea made me angry in a way I couldn’t explain, though I thought it had something to do with the thought of Taylor manipulating our feelings that way.
Of course it could also boil down to the shadows crawling through my mind at how quickly I was falling for Lila’s charms. And how much I wanted to keep falling.
* * *
We got into the venue to see The Leathers already halfway through their set and rushed backstage to find my band doing their prep work in the wings. I gave them all furious looks—which they acted like they didn’t understand—and then put Lila safely out of the way while I went to help set up.
She, of course, didn’t stay put. Instead, she hustled forward to help Matty with a bunch of equipment and started telling him about the truck we’d ‘borrowed.’
“Only Rivers says we weren’t stealing it because supposedly he’s going to have it returned to the owner,” she finished.
I looked over in time to see her rolling her eyes in my direction and gave her a quick grin. “I’ll have it returned tomorrow,” I promised. “It’s not stealing if they end up getting it back.”
“Seems like a pretty fine line there, my friend,” Matt observed.
“Shut it, you. You aren’t the one who found yourself stranded when you were supposed to be at a show.”
Matt smirked at me—same old Matt—and turned back to Lila to ask why it had taken us so long to get here if we’d had a truck. I froze, wondering what she was going to say. We’d spent far too long in that meadow, and though some of it had been innocent, a whole lot of it hadn’t been. What was she going to say? That we were lying around staring at clouds… or that we were making love under the sky, those clouds flying along above us and shielding us from absolutely nothing?
Neither was a good option. Both were private, and though I’d shared most of my life with the public—and my friends—I suddenly realized that I didn’t want to share this. I didn’t want anyone else to know about what Lila and I had.
I didn’t want anyone else touching the memory.
“Had some car trouble,” she quipped. “Had to pull over for a while. Probably serves us right for stealing a truck, to be honest.”
I looked up and our gazes clashed, her bright green with my dark brown. And in her gaze, I saw that she wasn’t going to give up my secrets. Because she didn’t want to share what we’d done with anyone else, either. She was going to protect me, the same way I wanted to protect her.
God.
I went back to what I’d been doing, knowing that I had the stupidest expression I’d ever worn on my face. I probably looked goofy and punch drunk. Dazed and confused and yet completely sure of something I wasn’t sharing.
I didn’t give a single fuck what I looked like.
I was too happy to care.
* * *
That night, I found her in the crowd on purpose. I signaled to the guys that we were going to sing our one and only love song—which we didn’t generally put into our sets and almost never practiced—and then turned to scan the crowd for a head full of red hair and the brightest eyes I’d ever seen. It didn’t take me long. The girl would have stood out in a crowd of a million, and there were probably only two hundred in this hall.
I sought her eyes like I was seeking shelter, and when she turned to me and smiled, the world lit up. Home, I thought. This must be what home felt like. And family. Someone there for you no matter what—someone who would always be happy to see you, who would always have a hug for you and a place at their table. A kind word and a laugh, no matter how the rest of the world was treating you. A made-up game about clouds that let you feel like you were only five and didn’t have a care in the world.
Comfort. It was something that came so naturally to her, and yet…
I’d never experienced that. It was new and different and so mind-altering that I almost forgot the next words to the song. My mind kicked in and saved me, though, and we launched into the chorus, our music reaching up to the rafters and filling the entire place with chords I hadn’t even thought of for years.
