Page 41 of Rock & Roll Nights: The Lila and Rivers Edit
I needed to know if we were anything more than fake. Once I knew that, I’d decide whether I could take the chance on staying.
“Really? And what am I? Because the last time I checked, Rivers, this whole thing was fake to start with. Am I just another girl whose name you’ll forget tomorrow? Because I never signed up for that.”
He pulled me against him, his shirt damp with sweat and his skin like molten lava. “Neither did I. Or…” His eyes shifted to the right, searching for an answer to something, and when he looked at me again he was smiling sheepishly. “Well, maybe at first. But not anymore.”
I stared into his eyes, trying to figure out what that even meant. Trying to figure out whether this was just another act. Another mask.
Trying to figure out howIfelt about the whole thing.
I’d spent the last week pretending to be this guy’s girlfriend. Bailing him out in front of the press—and onstage—and doing my damnedest to make it believable. Taking the time to get to know him, or at least try to, and spending far too much timepressed against him, my body on fire. But in between those bailouts...
I’d seen who he really was, or at least who I thought he was. I’d started thinking he wasn’t what people said—a jaded rock star—and was instead a broken boy who had grown up into this heartbreaker of a man but still didn’t really know how to do most things.
And I’d thought I had a good handle on him. I’d thought I knew who he was, deep down. I’d thought he might care about me as much as I was starting to care about him. Only to walk out of that diner this morning and find him all over some other girl like he’d never even heard my name.
He’d undone most of the work we’d accomplished over the last week, but that wasn’t all of it. He’d broken the trust I was building with him and slashed right through the feelings that had been growing in my heart. I’d thought I could trust him with my emotions, and now I knew otherwise.
He’d ruined whatever we’d constructed together—if it had even been real in the first place, which I now doubted.
And now he was standing there asking me to forgive him and throw him another chance.
On one hand, I wanted to push him away. Knee him right in the stomach and tell him I never wanted to see him again. I wanted to get the hell out of this town and run to Nashville, where I could get myself back together and try to forget that I’d ever heard the name Rivers Shine. Every instinct I had was telling me this was toxic and he would never be the man I wanted him to be. Never by the boy I’d thought he was, and that I would have to be stupid to wait around and expect any better from him.
On the other hand, in the wings, Taylor James was waiting. Watching. No doubt wondering what I’d do.
Because that other hand—the one I was seriously looking at now—was holding a chance at a record contract. If I stayed, Ihad a shot at a record deal with one of the best companies in the industry. I had a shot at staying on tour with Olivia and Connor, maybe even performing with them, and getting Anna and me a deal. Sure, Anna was staying to try to get it done, but she had to know as well as I did that I was the one Taylor wanted. I was the one who had the best chance of getting that contract.
If I stayed.
If I gave Rivers his second chance.
I stared at him, deep into those dark, pained eyes, and bit my lip. I didn’t know if I could handle all the damage the industry had done to him. Didn’t know if I could help him carry the baggage of being abandoned as a kid and then shoved into a world where no one took the time to take care of him.
I didn’t know if I was big enough to do any of that. I didn’t even know if I wanted to.
But I did know that somewhere along the way, I’d fallen in love with him. And that had to count for something, right?
That, and the shot at a contract.
“Promise not to break my heart?” I asked quietly.
Rivers held up one hand and put the other on his heart. “I swear on everything.”
Did I believe him? Honestly, I didn’t know. But my heart was telling me to give it a shot. Take my fate into my own hands, send up a prayer, and give Rives a chance to be a better man.
I leaned forward, getting as close as I could, and whispered, “In that case, Rivers Shine, you’ve got a deal.”
