Page 24 of Guitars and Mistakes
What the hell was wrong with him? We’d just had a terrific show where the audience had gone wild for the newest song and I knew both Taylor and the record company were happy with the way the tour was going. Sure, he had that problem with Taylor and his reputation but we were in the midst of fixing that, right? We were still mugging for the press every time we had a chance and they were eating it up, thinking that Rivers had landed a good girl and was going to turn it all around.
Right, so we hadn’t been doing as much of that lately. And Taylor had straight up told me that she wanted me to step in and be her biggest project. But that didn’t actually mean anything. Rivers just had to try a little bit harder if he wanted to save the day. Put some effort in.
Maybe stop drinking so much.
I took one step toward him, thinking that it had to be more than that. When I first met him, he’d acted like the whole thing with Taylor didn’t matter, and honestly speaking, it probably didn’t. He was famous—and talented—enough that he could get a new agent in moments, plus anything else he wanted. He’d never had trouble getting attention in the music industry.
So what the hell was wrong with him?
Was it this whole Missouri thing? He’d started getting weird as soon as we got close to the border, and the other night he’d said that being in this area had made him realize that he wasn’t worth anything. Or words to that effect. What the hell did that even mean? What had happened to him in Missouri that was so bad it could take him from brooding to something that looked a whole lot more like suicidal? None of my research—okay, stalking—had told me anything about Missouri when it came to him, and he’d first shown up in Nashville. Home of blues and country. No one ever talked about where he’d actually come from, but surely if there was baggage in his past someone would have dug it up by now and put it into a story. The press loved to dig up old news and make it new again. Particularly if it was dramatic.
Come to that, how the hell had Rivers kept his past so private?
And what was he keeping there that he didn’t want anyone else to see? I didn’t remember anything about any family, so it couldn’t be that he’d left someone behind to make it big.
At that moment he stepped forward and cleared his throat, like he’d just been waiting for me to get close to him to make his move. He looked up and glanced around the room, his eyes resting on me for one hot, intense moment before they moved on to someone else. The crowd noticed his movement and grew quiet, and before long the whole place sounded like a tomb, like Rivers had cast a spell over the party. I could see why. He almost never spoke in public, and certainly never to big groups like this. Seeing him standing in front of us, evidently ready to make a speech, was odd at best.
Dangerous at worst.
“Good show tonight, kids,” he said, giving his trademark smirk. “Though I think we have to thank Lila for writing that last song. The audience really does love her, don’t they?”
There was a smattering of cheers at that, but no one really put their heart into it, and when it died down, he continued.
“Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush, here. Tonight was a great show, and every show for the last week has been great. There’s one reason for that, and it’s Anna and Lila. Well, I guess those are two reasons. But the point is the same: Those people out there are responding to these girls, and I think I know why. They have a spark. They have magic. They’re all sunshine.”
His eyes darted to mine and I nearly sobbed at the use of his nickname for me. What was he doing? Why did he look like he was walking to his own funeral?
“They don’t want the tattoos and heartbreak anymore,” he said quietly. “They want the sunshine and excitement. And I don’t blame them for it. That’s why I’m going to be stepping aside as lead singer of The Global Authors. I want Lila and Anna to take my place. I think it’ll be in everyone’s best interests. And I’m not really willing to discuss the matter, so if anyone thinks they’re going to come after me and talk me out of it, do yourselves a favor and don’t.”
He turned and left through the door behind him before I could fully understand what he’d just said, and by the time I’d processed it all the door had closed behind him, shutting him off from the party—and for all I knew, the only people who cared about him—and leaving us all staring after him, our tongues tied and our hearts breaking.
LILA
Ididn’t follow him.
I know, the mind boggles. I’d spent most of the time I’d known Rivers Shine chasing after him and basically throwing my heart at him. Any time he left, I ran after him to try to figure out what was wrong with him—or to see if there was anything I could do. I’d taken one look at this guy and known that he needed someone to actually see who he was rather than who he was presenting to the world. I’d seen a lost boy who needed love rather than the tattooed, brooding rock star that the world loved to fear.
And it hadn’t done me any good. He might have welcomed me into his arms but he’d pushed me out again almost as quickly, and though he’d given me a glimpse or two of what lay behind his mask he’d never actually let me all the way in.
He might have just made the most insane announcement ever and essentially thrown his whole career to the wolves. Everyone in here was reeling from what he’d said. But I didn’t think running after him was going to fix any of that.
I had a better idea.
I whirled from the door, my eyes jumping through the crowd until I found Matt. I knew enough to know that Rivers called his band mates his best friends and that they’d known each other forever. I also knew that of everyone in his band, Matt was the one who scared me the least. He was a cinnamon roll in human clothing and was already in love with my best friend. He didn’t look like he might chew on nails in his spare time. He had a couple of tattoos but nothing like what Noah and Hudson had.
He was the one I could go to for help.
I found him quickly, his dark hair standing out from a crowd of blondies, and I started for him. He’d left Anna alone and was now at the drinks table pouring himself something, his eyes on the door Rivers had just gone through. He looked thoughtful and concerned, but like he wasn’t going to go after Rivers anytime soon. In fact, he looked like a guy who’d seen this before and was trying to figure out the best way to handle it.
“Matt,” I said the moment I drew even with him.
His eyes dropped to me and widened. “Lila,” he said hesitantly.
I put a hand in the middle of his chest and pushed, backing him right up to the wall on the other side of the table. This increased the surprise on his face, but he didn’t fight me. Instead, I saw his mouth relaxing, like he already knew what this was going to be about and wasn’t surprised.
“What the fuck is going on with your friend?” I asked, refusing to mince words.
At that, the surprise jumped back onto his face. He’d probably never realized that I knew how to cuss, I thought with a flash of humor. Hell, maybe he thought I’d never cussed before in my life.
