Page 11 of Receiving His Mercy
They deserved nothing.
She hadn’t wanted to talk to that woman. She hadn’t felt strong enough back then.
And you are now?
She really wasn’t sure.
Moving into the kitchen, she poured herself a glass of water with hands that shook. Her breathing was still too fast and the room was starting to spin slightly.
Breathe. Just breathe.
Her skin itched and she found herself scratching at it.
A shower. She needed to be clean.
Stop.
You don’t need a shower.
She should have stopped at the grocery store and stocked up. There wasn’t enough food in the apartment. What if something happened and she couldn’t go to the grocery store?
She was going to go hungry . . .
Stop.
Stop it.
There’s plenty of food. You’re not going to starve.
She took several sips of water, hoping that the coolness would clear her cluttered brain. What she really needed was asession. With her therapist or at the club. Going to the club was one of the few things that helped her keep focused and calm. That would wipe away all of the fear and worries that threatened to overwhelm her.
But the Twisted Thorn was off-limits to her while Travis was in town. No way did she want to go there and risk seeing him. She knew that he owned a club in New York. So she wouldn’t be visiting that one while she was there, either.
What she had to do was stay away from Travis Andrews. He wasn’t good for her stress levels. And they were something she really had to keep under control. She could go into dangerous situations where she had zero control over anything and stay calm and collected.
Yet she saw the guy that she’d had a crush on all those years ago and her blood pressure had skyrocketed.
Deep breaths.
She willed the shaking to stop, but her body wasn’t listening and the glass slipped from her hand, landing on the floor with a smash.
Shit!
Caren knew she wasn’t in the right frame of mind to pick the pieces up.
Leave it.
Instead, she walked over to the pantry and took stock of all the food in it. She wasn’t hungry. She didn’t need to eat.
She had this.
Although maybe she’d just sit on the floor in the pantry and keep watch over her food. Sitting, her eyelids grew heavy so she closed them and lay down.
Yeah, this was fine.
Maybe she would be living in the same city as him, but that didn’t mean anything. New York was huge. Plus, she wasn’t that skinny, scared, weird teenager anymore.
She was a woman with a successful career. She’d traveled the world. Been in terrifying situations and come out of them whole.
