Page 43 of My Roommate from Hell
Crickets.
“Er, so how about dating,” he continues. “It’s tough, right? Like, you judge people based on their profiles, but everyone is lying. You know it’s true. Nobody is going to write on their profile: ‘I’m flaky and I chew with my mouth open,’ you know?”
That earns a few chuckles from the crowd, the most he’s gotten.
“Nobody is going to write: ‘I’m not over my ex! I have crippling self-esteem issues that make me question if I’m even worthy of love!’”
The room goes quiet again.
“Wow, too real? Okay, that’s the line then, no making fun of people with self-esteem issues, gotcha.” He lifts both his eyebrows. “That’s fair, you know. They’ve probably been bullied enough, no need to make it worse for them.”
A few people chuckle. It feels more sympathetic than anything.
“Anyway, that’s it from me. If you liked me, my name’s Eddy Gluck. If you didn’t, I’m someone else! Goodnight.”
He walks offstage, and that wraps up the comedy section of the night. Even though he wasn’t as funny as the first few acts, he tried his best. Plus, the show was free, so it’s hard to be too critical. I take a bite from another jalapeño popper. It’s perfectly crispy and has just enough spice to it. I’d say these are the best jalapeño poppers I’ve had in my life.
“What’s the plan now?” asks Tyrell as he eats a waffle fry. “The night is young and I’m in the mood for some gay chaos.”
“Me too,” says Avery. “Have you been to Somewhere yet, Owen?”
“No, what’s that?”
“Gay meeting spot on campus, it’s good. I’ve performed there afew times as Red. We could go tonight, if you’d like? There are no drinks but there are cute boys.”
It’s after nine, and I don’t have plans for the rest of the night. I’m hit with a flicker of annoyance at Zarmenus, because going to a gay venue with them sounds fun. But even now I can feel my energy levels are nowhere near where they should be for anything like that.
“That sounds fun,” I say. “But to be honest I’m so freaking tired.”
“Did Zarmenus wake you up again?” asks Tyrell.
“No,” I say, a little too quickly.
“Is there drama?” asks Avery. “Spill, I love drama.”
“There’s no drama,” I say. “Seriously. I just haven’t been sleeping well.”
“Well, that’s no fun,” says Avery. “If you change your mind, I’m all ears.”
The three of us leave Toohey’s and start heading back to our dorms. I glance around and marvel once again at just how pretty the campus is. It’s so nice here, and even though I haven’t been a student that long, I already feel so much, ahem, Point pride.
As we walk down the street-lit path in comfortable silence, I start to wonder about Zarmenus. What’s he up to tonight?
We reach Clark Hall and stop outside the doors.
“Say hi to your roommate for me,” says Avery as we hug.
“I will. Actually, um, there’s this game night tomorrow. Would either of you like to go?”
“I’m free,” says Tyrell. “Message me the details.”
“Sweet.”
I go inside. I get to my level and stop at our doors. I’m on cloud nine. I’m still not over how delicious those jalapeño poppers were. Plus, hanging out with Tyrell and Avery was really fun.
I freeze.
There’s a sock hanging on my door.
