Page 103 of My Roommate from Hell
It’s not that simple. We’ve dreamed of going here for years. I can remember conversations we had back in our freshman year about Point. I can remember how happy she was when she told me she’d gotten in, and how that conversation was so different from her telling me that she had decided not to go. If I were her, I’m sure visiting Point and seeing the life that she could’ve had would be difficult. I know I’d find it hard if I had been effectively forced by a random twist of fate into doing something else with my life.
“I’m just scared of losing her,” I say.
“Talk me through it.”
“It feels like our lives are going in different directions.”
“You should tell her how you feel.”
It’s good advice. If I want to feel close to her, I should tell her how I’m truly feeling. The worst thing I could do would be to lie and tell her what I think she wants to hear.
We reach our dorm room, and I take off my jacket. As I’m taking mine off, I catch Zarmenus checking me out. I’ve caught him doing it a few times, and I never mind, not even slightly. It’s flattering that he seems to like the look of my body. But I know it’s just because he’s attracted to men.
It’s nothing to get excited about.
“Do you want to go to the Phi Kappa fundraiser tonight?” he asks. “I’ll go if you want to.”
I had in fact heard of it, but none of my friends had made plans to go, and I’d been cautiously avoiding it as a subject with Zarmenus. Not because it doesn’t sound fun, it sounds like a great time. But the fundraiser is a pool party, and that means seeing Zarmenus in swimwear.
I’m trying my best to keep my emotions under control, and to keep thinking of him purely platonically. Seeing him in a pair of swimming trunks will not make things easier.
Plus, Adam might be there. Phi Kappa is a different fraternity from the one he is a part of and that Zarmenus quit, but there’s a fair amount of intermingling within the Greek system.
“Would you like to go?” he asks. “It could be fun.”
I did have plans to go over to Tyrell’s dorm and watch a movie, but I can always do that another day.
“It’s okay if you’re busy,” says Zarmenus. “No pressure at all.”
“No, I’d like that,” I say.
“Sweet.”
He goes to his closet and retrieves a pair of red swimming trunks. He turns around to show me.
“Do you like these?”
“Yeah,” I say, trying my best to keep my voice casual. “I’m sure you’ll look okay.”
“Just okay?” he asks, teasing, because he knows exactly how good he’s going to look in them.
Something tells me this won’t end well.
The rest of the day passes slowly, and now it’s time for the Phi Kappa pool party fundraiser.
It’s already dark out, and it’s cold enough that swimming isn’t the most enticing idea. Still, I have my favorite green trunks in my backpack, ready to change into them if I change my mind. If I’ve learned anything about myself so far this semester, it’s that getting out of my comfort zone tends to be more fun than playing it safe.
Zarmenus gives my hand a squeeze. We’ve been holding hands so much lately that it’s almost second nature for us.
A table has been set up at the entrance of the campus pool where we have to buy tickets. It is a fundraiser, after all, but parting with twenty dollars still hurts. Once we’ve both paid, we’re let into the pool. It’s part of the aquatic center, so it’s an indoor, Olympic-sized pool with bleachers at the back.
The lights are dim, and the water is clearly heated, as faint wisps of steam drift along the surface. Only a handful of people are swimming, and the majority are frat guys. Given the number of inflatable pool toys in the pool, they’re expecting a lot more people to get in at some point.
“What do you think?” asks Zarmenus.
“It’s cool,” I say.
“Are you going to swim?”
