Page 121 of My Roommate from Hell
“You,” growls a voice.
I turn. A cultist pulls off their mask. It’s Adam, his face twisted with hatred.
“You’re going to pay for this,” he says as he pulls a knife from the robes of his cloak. “Nobody makes a fool out of Adam Prampin!”
Zarmenus notices me. In a blur of movement, he’s suddenly right in front of me. He punches Adam in the face, dropping him to the floor.
“I’ve wanted to do that for ages,” says Zarmenus. “You got here fast.”
“I ran,” I say. “What’s going on?”
“I’ll explain in a second, but you’re amazing.” He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. It seemed like a spur-of-the-moment thing, something neither of us was expecting. Despite the chaos around us, we’re both still here, locked in place.
His eyebrows narrow. “Why did you bring the pitchfork?”
“I thought you might need it.”
I offer it to him.
“You know it’s decorative, right? You humans got a lot about us right, but got a lot wrong.”
“Oh.”
“I appreciate it, though,” he says. He takes it and passes it from hand to hand, seemingly impressed by its weight. “Actually, this’ll do. Duck!”
I bend down, and Zarmenus swings the pitchfork over my head. It smacks flat side first into a cultist’s chest, knocking them over.
That was too close for comfort. Way too close for comfort. A bunch of the cultists have figured out escape is impossible, and have armed themselves.
“Excuse me,” says Zarmenus.
He takes flight, flying up to the top of the church. Then he starts lobbing fireballs from his free hand. I run up and hide behind the altar. One person tries to grab me, but Zarmenus swoops down before they can, carrying them up into the air. Some shoot at him with crossbows, but he burns them all away. Bell is equally devastating as she jumps around, treating the cultists like playthings.
It doesn’t take the two of them long to wipe out every single enemy. The church is now a mess, with broken pews covered in the limp bodies of cultists. Nobody has been killed, but they’ve all been knocked out.
Zarmenus lands in front of me, then transforms back into his human form.
“Okay, you deserve an explanation,” he says. “Humans learn best through lived experiences, and they needed to learn they can’t hurt me. Do you think they’ve learned enough?”
I look around.
“I’d say so,” I say, my voice trembling.
Zarmenus waves a hand, and the church doors fly open. Bell pads up to us, shrinking down to her normal size.
“Was that fun, girl?” asks Zarmenus as he picks her up and plants a kiss on the top of her head. She does a littlemeowthat is the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard.
“Actually,” says Zarmenus, “there’s one last thing I need to do. They could’ve hurt you, so I’m ending this cult for good.”
“How?” I ask.
He starts to grin. “I’m going to tell my mom.”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
I can’t believe what I’m watching.
I’m in bed, watching a video on Zarmenus’s phone. It’s a video of the man who appeared in the church wearing the white robe: a man I now know is the leader of the Order of the Golden Sun. Apparently he’s been orchestrating things behind the scenes, which is something I’d probably know if I didn’t avoid all Golden Sun content like it’s the plague.
