Page 125 of Looking for Love in All the Haunted Places
“Yep.” He nodded and they burst out laughing. “But really, looking at me—you’re not turned on? At all?”
Instead of answering, she asked, “Would it be too much if I touched you? Above the waist?” He consented and she grabbed the second washcloth he’d brought.
She began washing his chest with the same mindfulness he’d shown her. Slow, methodical circles. Gentle kneading in tense areas. All while trying to keep a ridiculously pleased grin off her face.
“Seeing you naked isn’t going to magically change me. Although”—she paused to look him up and down—“your body? One hundred out of ten. Beautiful. You have no idea how giddy I feel looking at you. I’m attracted to your body because it’s your body. Try thinking about it like that without the qualifiers. I likeallof you. Every single part, inside and out.”
He casually placed his hands on her hips, and without missing a beat, she began washing his arms, from his shapely shoulders down to his wrists. She glanced at him while continuing the purposeful rhythm she’d created. He was watching her closely, a pensive look on his face.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked.
“Trying to wrap my head around everything. You enjoy sex, right? Not just liking it or thinking it’s fine. You enjoy it?” His voice sounded strained—hoarse and concerned. “Because if you don’t, please tell me.”
“I can, yes.” She wanted to be honest, and tried not to sound negative, but the truth was far more nuanced than that.
“I think I might’ve read too many accounts of people confessingthat they only had sex because their partner needed it. They didn’t even like it. I don’t want that for you or for us.”
“I see,” she said. “Stripped down to basic parts, I like the way it feels. But I don’t think I’d ever ask you to have sex with me, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“No, that’s not what I mean.”
“Switch places with me,” she said, moving around him. “You in front.” She added more bodywash and started on his back. He truly was a sight to behold. And touch. “Please continue.”
“Basic parts. Okay,” he echoed, thoughtfully. “For me, your enjoyment isn’t optional. I want you to…uh, have a good time. I need to feel it. That.”
She kissed his neck. “Say it however you normally would.”
“Uh, no, Ireallydon’t think I should do that. We’re not there yet.” He turned his head to look at her, laughing nervously. “I’m very…exacting. I don’t want to have any doubts. So, let’s say, I tell you to look at me. In that moment, I want to see how hard it is for you to do what I ask. But once you do, I’m going to”—he stopped himself again—“rewardyour efforts. And then I’m going to ask again.”
“Ah.” Lucky began focusing on the shower wall in front of them. He was being cautious again, testing the waters, and she knew he’d barely skimmed the surface.
While slightly unexpected, she wasn’t too shaken. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her body firmly against his. “I think I understand what you mean. Would it always be like that? Because I enjoy…gentle.” It took a moment for her to work up enough nerve to look him in the eye, but she did it. “Slow and steady wins the sensual race kind of vibe with kissing. Would that be okay too?”
“Yes.” He answered so enthusiastically it instantly put a smile on her face. “Now we’re getting somewhere. What else do you like?”
“That’s the only thing that’s stood out so far,” she said. “I only really know what I don’t like.”
“That’s okay. We’ll work on that,” he said, holding her arms in place like a promise.
“You want to help me?”
He gave her an incredulous look. “I will dowhateveryou want.”
“Even roleplaying? I think you might’ve been right.”
Roleplaying seemed fun because they’d both be in on the joke. They’d be playing characterstogether. And when it was over, they’d go back to being perfectly happy as themselves.
“Especially that.”
“Even—”
“What. Ever. You. Want. I do not care. I will do it.” He laughed. “I highly doubtanythingyou genuinely want to do will shock me.”
She narrowed her eyes to mess with him. “I’ll see about that.”
•••
Early the next morning, Lucky woke up naturally on her own. No alarm. No phone call. Nothing tugging at her mind. She sighed into a stretch, happily rolling over inside of Maverick’s embrace. He was still sleeping, serene and peaceful, breathing deep and even. She delicately brushed her thumb across the line of his bottom lip and smiled at his sleepy groan. She could get used to waking up next to him every day. But she had a job to finish first.
