Page 47 of The Romantic Agenda
“You are.” Joy places her hand over his. “I’m just... frustratedtoo. We haven’t been being honest with each other lately. Why did you keep Summer a secret from me?” She pauses to breathe and find her courage. “Is it because of Caroline?”
Joy wants him to say no, needs him to. She’s waiting, holding on to hope as if it’s a life raft because it’s the only thing between her and drowning. And when the denial doesn’t come, Joy turns away in shame. Outside, the lake looks as serene as ever, mocking her with its tranquility.
“I don’t blame you for what happened, Joy. When Caroline told me she thought you were in love with me, I told her you weren’t. Then she said it again. And again. And she kept saying it until finally, she added that she thought I was in love with you too. That’s why she left me.” Malcolm stops, jaw flexing as he swallows down the bitter memories Caroline left behind. “She thought I didn’t love her more than I loved you. And I don’t know if I can honestly say she’s wrong. It’s just... I don’t know how to do this anymore.”
Joy’s next breath catches in her throat as she freezes in place, suddenly terrified. She loves him, she will always be there for him, never leave him, and he always says he feels the same. This can’t... He can’t... She manages to force the words out of her. “Do what?”
“Have you in my life and be with someone else. I don’t know how to balance it, so everyone is treated fairly. I don’t think I ever have.”
“So that’s it? You’re trying to choose between me and Summer?”
“No.” Malcolm shakes his head. “There’s no choice because it’s not either or. I’m trying to figure out how much I’m willing to let go to move forward. We can’t stay like this. It’s not working.”
His responses are so quick it’s clear he’s been thinking about this for a while. He must have been biding his time, waiting for the right moment to lovingly push Joy to the side. She knows him well enough to know when he’s made up his mind and she’s already tried telling him the truth.
But she can’t give up. Not yet. If she tries to confess now, what if he misunderstands her again? He’ll hear what he wants, what he expects, and not what Joy is saying. So what if she flipped it? What if she tried to get an answer from him in another way?
“Why have you never asked me out?” The question tumbles out of her, bold and unyielding. No room for miscommunication.
“I wouldn’t do that to you.” Malcolm’s eyes widen in surprise. “I would never put you in a position to choose between our friendship or something more just to make me happy. My issues are just that—mine. Because of me, not you. I have to figure this out on my own.”
“But what if that’s what I wanted too? We can just cut everything else out and be together.”
He scoffs as if he’s insulted. “Joy, Iknowyou. You don’t have to ever pretend for me. I love you just the way you are. I don’t needmorefrom you. You give me enough.”
Well. That’s certainly an answer. Malcolm only cares for her one way—the same way he always has. Joy takes a breath, numbness flooding in. “Okay.”
“But I would just like it if you could try with Summer.”
“If that’s what you want, sure.”
She could be, he said.
He’d rather settle for Summer than take a chance on Joy.
“Good morning!” Summer shouts as she enters the room, bright-eyed and with damp hair. “Ooh! Coffee!”
Joy closes her eyes. She tries to clear her mind, counting to five and focusing on her breathing. When she opens them again, she forces herself to smile. “Game time,” she says to Malcolm and jumps off the couch.
Thirteen
Good morning, Summer. You’re very loud,” Joy says.
“Sorry,” she says, before gasping. “Oh my god, I have to tell you guys what happened. This cabin isdefinitelyhaunted.”
“I don’t want to know,” Joy says to Malcolm, who joins them in the kitchen. “You ask.”
He snickers. “Why is it haunted now?”
“So I’m in the shower. Everything is fine. Good temperature. Water pressure is wonderful. Then out of nowhere the water suddenly turns cold.Cold, cold. Like, so cold I almost screamed. I jumped back to get out of the way and that’s when I noticedeverythingis cold.
“All of a sudden, the entire room felt like Antarctica. I could see my breath. I couldn’t touch the tiles. At this point I’m freaking out because there’s obviously a ghost in the bathroom with me while I’m naked and shivering for dear life. Ten seconds later, it’sgone. Everything begins to heat back up and go back to normal. That’s so weird, right?”
“I’ll give you weird,” Joy agrees.
“Haunted.”
Malcolm says, “Or the AC is broken and maybe the cabin just ran out of hot water. You were the last one to take a shower.”
