Page 37 of The Romantic Agenda
None of them have seen the movie before. They speculate about what the infamous twist ending could be, trying to solve the plot together. About an hour in, the leading couple has their first kissing scene. Joy lets out an involuntary “Ew.”
Fox asks, “On-screen kissing bothers you?” His amused tone makes a grand return.
“When it’s fake. They have zero chemistry. It’s the worst.” Joy shudders. “Grosses me out. I hate watching it.”
“Oh, because you’re asexual?” Summer asks.
Joy freezes like a deer in headlights. She stares at Malcolm.Did you tell her that too?
His eyes are wide, shaking his head and looking as stricken as she feels.No, of course not.
A few tense heartbeats later, realization clicks into place for Joy. “Oh, right, you follow me online. Right, right.”
Coming out online had felt like the second biggest mistake of her life. On a whim, she participated in a hashtag for aces to raise awareness by uploading a photoset of herself wearing outfits inspired by colors of the ace flag. She never for one second thought those pictures would leave her tiny bubble on the internet.
In less than twenty-four hours, herentire accounthad gone viral, and everything imploded.
Summer seems to recognize her faux pas, expression quickly shifting to embarrassment. Her cheeks darken with a creeping red flush. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have blurted that out.”
“It’s fine,” Malcolm says.
It’s not.Joy scowls at him. Suddenly, he doesn’t see her, purposefully avoiding making eye contact.
Summer begins gently flapping her hands. “I just thought we all knew so it didn’t matter. You two are the only asexual people I’ve met.”
“That you know of,” Malcolm says, kinder than Joy thought he should be. “Some people aren’t ready to talk about it even if they’ve figured it out.”
“Hey,” Fox says suddenly. He barks the word, drawing the entire room’s attention, but his gaze slowly slides from the screen to Joy. His face is completely neutral as he considers her. Strangely, she can’t look away. She isn’t sure how long he holds her captive like that, but it’s beginning to feel excessive.
Joy’s lips quirk into a smile. She can’t read Fox like she can with Malcolm, but that buzzing exhilaration from earlier begins to return. Something is coming. He’s planning their next move.She’s perfectly fine waiting for him to say whatever is brewing in that mind of his.
His lips part and he inhales before asking, “Which onscreen couple do you think has the best chemistry?”
“Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger inTen Things I Hate About You,” she says, not missing a beat. “Oh, and Max and Kyle fromLiving Single. I remember thinking if romance wasn’t going to make me feel like that, I didn’t want it. Which should have been a huge neon sign for later, but you know, hindsight and all that.”
“I love that movie,” Summer says with a nod. “I thinkMr. and Mrs. Smithis a good example too.”
Malcolm sucks in a breath. “Nooo—”
“See now, that’s different,” Joy says.
“Here she goes.” Malcolm pauses the movie.
“Shut up, I’m right,” Joy says playfully. She pulls her legs up onto the couch to sit on her knees, neatly arranging her dress around her so it doesn’t snag. “Chemistry and sexual tension aren’t mutually exclusive. If I see sexual tension, I can recognize it. Like inPortrait of a Lady on Fire. Theyearningin that movie is off the charts. I’ve never seen it in real life, though.”
Joy studied movies because she had to. She literally thought everyone was making sexual attraction up. She’d heard countless people describe it, read literally hundreds of romance novels—there’s never any feelings low in her belly, no shivers down her spine. She doesn’t have to cross her legs at the sight of veiny forearms, perky breasts, bubble butts, or perfect abs. It just doesn’t happen. The day she realized it was, in fact, averyreal thing absolutely blew her mind.
Summer asks, “This might be kind of crass, but have you ever been to a strip club?”
Joy nods. “Athletes, every one of them. Their bodies are so strong, it’s incredible.”
“Well, yeah, but you’re talking about girls, right? At male strip clubs it’s way different. I think you’d see it there.”
“Doubtful. I’ve seenMagic Mikeand that’s not sexual tension to me. That feels like a performance of lust on both parts. The women in the audience are gassing the strippers up because they’re doing a good job. That doesn’t meanbothparties want to have sex,” Joy says. “It’s like, uh, okay cool, you’re very fit and there’s your bulge. What’s that supposed to do for me?”
Malcolm bursts out laughing. He doubles over, holding his stomach, absolutely losing it.
“Why are you laughing? I’m being serious,” Joys says, unable to stop herself from smiling.
