Page 92 of The Romantic Agenda
“We always focus on me. You can”—he pauses, swallowing hard—“you can talk to me about this. It’s me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
Malcolm doesn’t need to know the specifics. What she has with Fox is both real and temporary. When they leave here, their pretend relationship stays behind. That’s what they agreed on.
“Sometimes when I try to talk to you, you shut me out, which I don’t get because that’s not how we work. That’s not who we are. I just... I want you to be happy,” Malcolm says, licking his lips. “That’s what’s most important. And if... I, uh, I need a second to think. I’ll be right back.”
Joy doesn’t go after him. She isn’t sure her legs will work even if she wants them to. Her mind is whirring at full capacity, wheezing like a laptop about to blue screen itself to death because she cannot process what just happened.
Did he...? Was that...?
And why...? Why now...? She finally met...
“Hey.” Fox touches her back, face close to hers. “You look like you’re not okay.”
“I’m fine,” she lies, grabbing him and holding on for dear life. “Everything is fine.”
Something very old, and very hurt, begins to stutter back to life inside of Joy.
Malcolm announces that he’s canceling the rest of the day.
For as long as Joy’s known him, he’snevercanceled plans before.Ever.He’s more reliable than the post office and they boastneither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of nightcan stop them.
The car ride back to the cabin is dead silent. No one saysanything, no music plays. Malcolm grips the wheel like he took someIncredible Hulkpills and he’s trying to hold back his rage. When they arrive, everyone gets out of the car except for him. They watch as he puts the car in reverse, backs out of the driveway, and leaves with zero warning.
“Where is he going?” Summer asks.
Fox says, “Not to be that person, but do either of you have keys to get inside? Because I don’t.”
Summer gasps. “Oh no.”
Oh, Malcolm.“I do. It’s fine.” Joy retrieves them from her purse. “I have the spare keys.” Light pours in from the curtainless windows, but all the small interior lights are off. The noticeable hum of electricity is also missing.
“Is the power out?” Summer clicks a light switch repeatedly, but nothing happens. “I can’t believe the ghosts are upset too right now.”
Fox says, “I’ll go down. I think Malcolm said the circuit breaker is in the basement.”
“I’ll go with you,” Summer volunteers.
“I will not. It’s probably racoons or worse messing around down there and that’s simply not my ministry.” Joy tries to smile, knowing it’s not convincing whatsoever. “I think I want to head up and change into something a little more casual. I’ll be back down in a little bit.”
Joy changes, deciding to keep it comfortable in an oversize off-the-shoulder tee and a pair of leggings. She slips her clothes on with shaking hands—it seems they developed a slight traitorous tremor and haven’t stopped shaking since she left the gift shop. Her heart has been positively trilling in her throat ever since then too. She can breathe, but she also can’t. She can speak, but her thoughts are flying through time, ten years in the past.
She’s clammy, an unwelcome shade of gray is popping through her makeup, and her eyes are wide and wary. Any sudden moves and she’ll take off, bolting for safety even though she has no clue where that is.
You just met him, he said.
Her heart skips a beat from pain. Because Malcolm looked exactly like how she felt when he told her he proposed to Caroline.Stricken. Defeated. Helpless.She presses a damp towel to her cheeks and closes her eyes to focus on her breathing. She needs to push those thoughts away. That isn’t real. It’s her brain playing tricks on her, making her see things that aren’t there. Malcolm was just surprised, that’s all. Really,reallysurprised.
“Knock, knock.”
“Summer. Hi.”
“Hey, I was wondering if you’d maybe want to go for a walk with me? There’s another cool trail I wanted to explore. I thought it’d be fun if we could go together again.”
Well, Joy did it once. She can do it again. To be honest, she could use the distraction. “As long as it’s not the demon trail by that wooden bench.”
“Oh no.” Summer shakes her head vehemently. “EvenIwon’t go in that one. It really does look like a portal to hell.”
