Page 62 of The Romantic Agenda
“Isaidit was hard to explain.” Joy chuckles darkly. “Grace says I’m hung up on some self-inflicted morality clause and if that’s all it takes for Malcolm to leave me, then I shouldn’t be with him in the first place.”
“Hmm.” His brows come together. “I take it Grace and Malcolm don’t like each other much?”
“I think they do,” Joy says, nodding. “But as we got older, they started growing apart. Grace thinks he’s all wrong for me, same as how you think he’s wrong for Summer.”
“Hmm.”
“She hates that I’m just ‘waiting around for him’ instead of living my life or whatever.”
“Hmm.” Fox breathes deeply, gaze drifting from Joy to the window. His attention isn’t on her anymore. She has a feeling he’s chasing after his runaway thoughts.
Joy waits patiently for him to come back, taking note of every movement he makes. A quick bite of his lower lip. A slow blink. A nose scrunch. A scratch of his chin.
When did people watching becomesofascinating? She’s never been shy, but she can’t remember the last time she purposefully paid this much attention to one person before. Does it always feel like this or is Fox just a special case?
“Would you ever consider dating someone else?” Fox is still looking out the window.
“I have,” Joy reminds him. “Iam.”
Her answer captures his attention. All his focus is hers again. Fox laughs, short and breathy. “I meant for real. Do you think that’s something you’d ever be interested in?”
Joy’s heart has been set on Malcolm for so long she doesn’t know if that’s even possible. If it is, where else would she find someone handsome, ambitious, successful, Black,andasexual? Someone who her family loves? Someone who cares so deeply about her, they’re practically drowning in each other?
“I never told anyone this before. Don’t laugh at me,” she warns.
He immediately replies, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“I don’t like thinking of a future without Malcolm because it’s too hard to picture. I’m pathetic, I know, but I’m also just... scared. If someone as perfect for me as Malcolm, who feels like my match in every single way, doesn’t want me, what possible chance do I have with anyone else? I’m not willing to let my heart get broken over and over again to find out. I’m really scared of getting hurt and being mistreated and getting called broken or worse.”
“Hmm,” Fox says, and then adds, “I understand.”
Joy blows out a huff of air, raising her shoulders and letting them fall as if she’s shaking off a weight she’s been carrying for far too long. “What about you? Why are you single?”
“I’m not.” He grins.
“Ha. Ha.”
“No particular reason. My job is physically demanding. After work, I don’t really want to do anything else. I’m ahave dinner, watch a movie, and just restkind of person.”
“Me too! I let Malcolm drag me to places but really I’d rather stay home and hang out with Pepper.”
“Pepper?”
“My cat.”
“Right. And on the weekend, I’m usually building pieces for my business. I don’t really go out or try to meet new people. If it weren’t for Summer’s weekly get-togethers, I probably wouldn’t go out at all.”
“So you’re not interested in using dating apps or anything like that?”
“I have before. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind going on dates. I’ve just been too busy lately.”
“Hmm.”
Fox laughs. “Plus, I’ve been worrying about Summer nonstop. I know I’m being overprotective, which she hates, but I can’t stop myself. She’s...veryunlucky in the romance department.”
There it is again: Fox talks so freely about everyone else but never himself. He’s so closed off, she could practically feel the door she slyly managed to weasel open slam shut in her face as he changed the subject to Summer.
Joy wants to ask him so many questions—what made him pick his trade, what’s his comfort movie, can he cook or is he a takeout enthusiast? Asking now would feel selfish, as if she’s purposefully ignoring his candid confession about Summer. She’s already said she wants to know him. Maybe he just really doesn’t want her to.
