Page 65 of Let's Talk About Love
Everything Alice did and didn’t want to know.
Takumi and his ex-girlfriend and former almost-wife, Rena, had started dating in college when they were nineteen. And it just… worked. They had gone to the same college, lived together for two years, and then earlier this year, she cheated on him. She had always been a social butterfly (his words) and an innocent flirt (her words), but when it came to some guy named Thad (Alice’s words: “Really? That’s his name?”), that innocence fluttered. Except it wasn’t only Thad. She cheated again with someone else. And once more for good measure before they broke up.
They began talking again a few weeks ago, very tentative (his words). Tomorrow night, they were supposed to have dinner to talk about being friends again andpossiblyseeing if that could lead somewhere back to being together, but he had seen her kissing some guy downtown earlier. Which was why he was so drunk. He realized that even though she might have missed him (her words), she didn’t really want to be with him anymore (his words).
Takumi didn’t cry, but his voice broke like he would start at any moment. He wanted Alice to say something. He wouldn’t have spilled the proverbial beans if he didn’t want some kind of guidance. They had made a deal to be there for each other.
She wouldn’t let herself let him down…
… but her own dating experience was severely limited. Thinking about four years felt like thinking about forever or something equally impossible. Six months seemed to be Alice’s cosmically chosen limit—on or around that mark, she got dumped. Both times. For the samereason. What hope did she have of keeping someone interested in her forfour years? Maybe Rena got bored with Takumi?
(MADNESS.)
Maybe it was just about sex? Maybe Rena wanted to experiment? Alice’s Tumblr dash was full ofthosestories—her mutuals deciding to try everything and then blog about it. Some of them were even in long-term relationships. She had talked to a few aces who had mentioned something similar—if their partner wanted to have sex, they were allowed to do so with someone else without consequences.
(Hard pass and a firm no thank you.)
Maybe that could work for Takumi and Rena… or not. He said Rena should have asked to take a break instead of cheating, but an open relationship wouldn’tbecheating, right?
(WHAT WAS SHE SUPPOSED TO SAY?)
“But that’s good, right?” she tried. “Maybe it’s for the best?”
Takumi stared at her so long Alice began to think he was contemplating the most painful way to throw her out of his apartment.
“Okay,” she said, tension getting to her. “Maybe that wasn’t the most helpful thing to say right now.”
“You think?” His face didn’t move a single muscle.
(She could do this.)
(She could totally be helpful and return all his kindness.)
“From the outside looking in, all I can see is the bright side,” she explained. “Like, I keep picking the wrong people, it never works out, and I get hurt. At first, I always feel like it’s a hundred percent my fault, but then I start thinking that it’s better we’re over now, instead of later when it’s too late. Stay with me on this. I swear there’s a point in here somewhere.”
His bloodshot eyes focused on her face, lids seeming so heavy that if he blinked, he’d probably fall asleep. The look was wretchedly adorable in a drunkard kind of way.
“I know you’re thinking that she shouldn’t have done it in the first place because you two were together, but I don’t think she was thinking about you at all when it happened. People don’t just cheat for the hell of it. Contrary to what people like to say, I don’t think it justhappens. It’s a choice she made that had nothing to do with you.”
“I don’t think that’s true.” He took a deep breath and put his arm behind her on the back of the couch. He placed his head on his upper arm. “Why do you think your breakups are your fault?”
“I’m working on learning how to not think that, actually. Progress has been slow.” She shrugged, trying not to slip into a whirlpool of abject failure.
(I don’t think that’s true.)
(Why couldn’t he need help with something else? Why did it have to be relationship stuff?)
He poked her waist. “I told you mine, now you tell me yours.”
“Maybe some other time,” she said. No way in hell, no how in heaven, was she about to tell Takumi that she was asexual right there, on the spot. “When you’re not drunk.”
He rubbed his face with his free hand. “All right.”
At the door, he wobbled a bit, not fully able to be upright yet. She thought about volunteering to let herself out so she could help get him into bed, but those words in her mouth? Nope. Not happening.
“Thanks for the ride.” He sniffed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “And for the talk.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, thinking. Redemption would be hers. “You know what you need? An Epic Wallow Session.”
