Page 67 of Let's Talk About Love
“I’m not.” She smiled at the ceiling—her plan had worked. Babies before twenty-five were her mom’s worst nightmare. Anything she said now would be compared to that and seem less frightening by far. “I just don’t think law school is for me. Iwantto stay in school, absolutely one hundred percent, but studying something else.”
“Like?” Her mom’s voice strained around the word.
“I have a couple of options in mind. I’m researching. My plan wasto give you and Dad a presentation outlining my new, improved, and slightly magical six-year plan.”
“And when would this happen?”
“Um, three weeks?”
“Fine.”
Damn. She should have asked for more time. “A month?”
“Three weeks. I’ll put it on the calendar.”
“Thank you for giving me a chance and hearing me out,” Alice said, chest loosening.
“I haven’t agreed to anything beyond that.” Her mother, ever the lawyer, just had to get technical and ruin the moment. “I have to go. Your dad is taking me to a fancy breakfast in the city. I think I hear him barreling down the stairs. I swear that man is half elephant.”
In Mom-speak, “I have to go” translates to about thirty more minutes of conversation. She held Alice on the phone, talking about the baby and Christy, their dog Simon’s failing health, current family drama over an upcoming family function, and anything else that flitted through her head. Her mom probably had already been seated at the restaurant when she finally hung up.
Alice didn’t mind.
Still tired, she wanted to crawl back under the covers but dragged herself out of bed anyway. In the hall, Feenie’s angry growl filtered through her closed door. Alice recognized that belligerent, mocking tone—Feenie only used it when she spoke to one person: her mom.
She still hadn’t talked about PartyGate with Feenie. If she went in Feenie’s room, odds were good Feenie would lash out at her.
She decided to risk it. For friendship and the greater good.
(Suddenly, she craved cookies. Being the bigger person should come with an automatic reward of sugary goodness.)
“Hello?” She knocked on the door twice. “Everybody decent?”
“Come in, loser,” Feenie called.
Alice poked her head into the room. “Ryan’s gone?”
“Josh called him to fill in a shift at some ungodly hour.” Her eyes were red and the skin under her nose had been rubbed raw. “I think he slept maybe an hour.”
Alice had no clue who Josh was.
Talking about the party didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore. Alice settled in next to Feenie under the blankets and tried to uncurl Feenie’s fists, but Feenie snatched them away.
Feenie had to swallow before commanding, “Don’t.”
“Okay,” she whispered. “I love you.”
The sun had come up and begun filtering through the closed blinds when Feenie finally said, “Sometimes I wonder where I’d be if I didn’t have you and Ryan. I’m sure I’d still hate my family. I’d probably still be alive. I don’t think I’d kill myself or anything, but that’s Happy Me talking. I’ve been happy too long to remember what it was really like.”
Feenie never opened up for the hell of it. She had something she wanted to say, and it would be a one-sided conversation until she was done. Then they would pretend it never happened.
Alice slid closer, taking Feenie’s hand again. Feenie allowed Alice to hold it.
“Marie called me yesterday.” Marie—Feenie’s mom. “She worked whatever connections she has and had my case for fighting that dude in the bar last year thrown out. Apparently, that gave her the right to interrogate me. She wanted to know when I was going back to school, why I was wasting my life, why I wasembarrassingher like this.” Feenie exhaled. “I want to have a family with Ryan because that’s what’s right for me. I don’t get how me wanting to get knocked up and be a housewife affects her. She doesn’t want me to have kids, so she’s never going to see them. Even if I die, she will never see them.”
Alice knew that. She’d known it for years.
In elementary school, when they were told to be doctors andastronauts and firefighters, Feenie stood up and said she wanted to be a mom. Back then, her favorite game had been House. Feenie was always the stay-at-home mom, while Alice was the working mom, and they had seven stuffed-animal children. Feenie did all the cooking, cleaning, and made sure Alice had her newspaper when she got home from work.
