Page 103 of Let's Talk About Love
“A year ago, I would have said whatever. Sure. Yeah. Okay. But not now. Because I really, really like him, he knows everything, and he couldn’t answer me, because it matters enough to make him pause. Just that one stupid, small thing.”
“I’m calling in for you.”
She placed her eyeliner on the sink and turned to him. “It’s fine. It’s fine. I’ll ask Essie to make sure we don’t work together today. I can volunteer to dust or something. She’ll help me.”
“What if he brings dinner?”
“Damn it, Ryan. Ijustfixed my eyeliner. Why would you say that?”
***
TAKUMI WAS LOOKINGat her, but Alice kept her eyes forward.
(Yep.)
(Not today, Satan.)
“Were you going to hide back here all night?”
“I’m not hiding. I’m cleaning.” Alice waved her duster at him and then at the neglected shelves in the reference section. “I’m prepping the encyclopedias for recycling and putting out whatever these are.” She gestured to the full cart on her left.
(She was also crying.)
(She didn’t point to the wastebasket full of tissues.)
“You didn’t answer my calls,” he said.
“I’ve been busy.”
“Or texts.” He put his hands in his pockets. “It only takes like thirty seconds to respond.”
“It was thenot a second to sparekind of busy.”
“Fine. What about right now? I would really like to talk to you.”
“I don’t know. I mean, these dust bunnies aremassive.” She laugheddespite the bitter taste in her mouth. “I think they require my full attention.”
“I’m sorry about what I said the other night. I’m not perfect, but sometimes it really feels like you’re expecting me to be. I know I messed up, but refusing to talk to me isn’t fair. I’d never even heard of asexuality before I met you.”
Alice turned so fast she got a crick in her neck. “Will youhush?” She clamped a hand over his mouth, pushing him back into a corner, and frantically searching the empty space for eavesdroppers. “Don’t say that out loud. Ever. I’m a super-private person and I’m still very sensitive about people knowing. I’m working on it, okay?”
“But I didn’t sayyouwere,” he whispered. “I said I’d never heard of it.”
(He was right. He didn’t.)
(Damn it.)
“Look.” Alice face-palmed herself. “I know what you’re doing, but I don’t think we can be friends anymore. Maybe that makes me a shitty person. I’m coming to terms with the fact that I am indeed an asshole. I’m sorry, but I can’t be your friend, because I like you too much and I enjoy not being in pain. So.”
“That’s what I thought.” He nodded, pressing his lips together. “Even though you think you’re an asshole, which I disagree with, that doesn’t mean you’re wrong. I don’t think we can be friends either.”
Alice could only look at his face in fleeting glances. As soon as their eyes connected, hers became desperate to look elsewhere. “Okay. Well. That’s that, then.”
“Except it’s not.” He grasped her wrist, rubbing his thumb gently over her pulse point. “I could say that I knew as soon as I saw you that I was doomed. I could say that I fell in love with you the morning after you fell asleep in my guest room and we got into a pillow fight when I tried to wake you up. I could say that when I was sick and you tookcare of me, almost asking you to marry me sounded like the greatest idea I’d ever had. I could say that every day I don’t talk to you, I feel like I’m dying a slow, melodramatic death.”
Alice stared at him, eyes wide, mouth agape. That kind of declaration was the bread and butter of romance movies, and it was forher.“Feel free to tell me all that again,” she said, dumbstruck. “Slowly. And let me record it.”
With his other hand, he held her waist, pulled her close, and kissed her. She forgot to close her eyes—the kiss ended before she had even registered it had happened. His hands slid down to her narrow hips, warming her skin through her clothes. He tilted his head, grazing her nose with his.
