Page 21 of Daniil
My son.
Mywoman.
I want both.
Except that’s not necessarily the best decision for him and I’m pretty sure she would laugh in my face if I suggested something as ludicrous as marriage.Or even a relationship.She left long before she knew she was pregnant, so she never wanted anything serious with me.
I can force her to let me be part of our son’s life, but I can’t force her to want me as much as I want her.
With a hundred emotions whipping through me, I abruptly hand the baby to Courtney.
“I need time…” I can’t even form words, that’s how twisted up I am inside.“Can I call you…tomorrow?Or later tonight?”
She nods slowly.Suspiciously.
“Stop looking at me like that,” I mutter.“I’m not going to take him from you.Jesus.I just need to think about the best way to move forward.Can you give me a day or so?You’ve had more than a year to think about what you want—can you please afford me the same grace?”
“Okay.”She pulls Micah closer to her chest.“Do you, uh, do you have my number?”
“I’ll get it from Landon.”
With that, Marcus and I take our leave and climb into the SUV.
Neither of us says anything at first, merely sitting there in the vehicle, letting the air conditioning cool us down.
“You okay?”he asks finally.
“No.Not even a little.Drive.”
He puts the SUV in gear and pulls down the street.
“Where to?”
That’s the thing—I have no idea.
It’s a Thursday morning in Vegas.I’m too wired to go back to the hotel.Too frustrated to eat or drink anything.Not in the mood to gamble or party.
I don’t know what the fuck I want.
“Hotel,” I say finally.“I need to make some calls.”
“You got it.”
I stare out the window as he heads toward the Strip.There are tons of other places to stay, but I like the energy, the excitement.The fact that there’s always something to do, somewhere to go, willing women available.
Too bad I’m not interested in any of that now.
I have a son.
He’s five months old, and I’ve held him once.
My heart is screaming that there isn’t a chance in hell I’m not going to be in his life.My brain is telling me to stop being selfish and think about the risks.Courtney risked so much to protect our child—from my life.Danger follows me everywhere.Maybe not right this second, but tonight or tomorrow or next week, someone will come for me.For Erik.For one of the kids.
We stave off attacks regularly.Usually they’re minor annoyances, cyber threats, a crazed tourist trying to get onto the grounds through the woods behind the palace.But sometimes it’s the real thing.
TheBojovnik Brathas made it their mission to take down Erik and the democracy we’re building.Get control of the billions of dollars worth of oil we have.Send the people back into despair, like they were during the ten years we were in exile.
We all vowed we wouldn’t let it happen.Not again.
