Page 68 of Dirty As Puck
For a long while, we just lie there, tangled up, our skin cooling and heartbeat syncing. His breaths even out, slow and deep, like my body has finally given him the kind of peace he hasn’t had in days. I stroke his back in quiet circles, listening to the steady rhythm of him.
And then the guilt creeps in.
I think about Derek. About the files I’ve been building, the photographs and whispers of debts. About how I’m keeping all of it from Kai because I don’t want to pile more weight onto the load he’s already carrying.
My chest tightens, shame prickling hot in my throat. I should tell him. I should confess everything right here, before it gets worse.
But then I tilt my head and see his face. For the first time in days, his jaw isn’t clenched. His brow isn’t furrowed. His lips, usually pressed in a hard line, are soft, parted slightly as sleep pulls him under. He looks younger like this, unburdened, and my heart aches with the tenderness of it.
I can’t do it. Not tonight. Not when he’s finally resting.
So instead of speaking, I lie awake beside him, memorizing every detail of him like the weight of his arm draped over my waist, the warmth of his breath against my temple, the way his fingers still twitch as he’s holding onto me even in sleep.
I reach up and brush a strand of hair off his forehead, my fingertips lingering against his skin. My throat tightens, words catching there, but I let them out in a whisper meant only for me.
“I’ll keep you safe,” I promise softly. “Even if it costs me everything.”
The vow settles heavy in my chest, but when his body stirs closer, curling into me instinctively, I know I’ll keep it.
No matter what Derek does, no matter what storm is coming, Kai won’t face it alone.
26
The first thing I notice when I open my eyes is warmth.
Rochelle is curled into me, her cheek pressed against my chest, one hand resting over my chest like it belongs there. The room is quiet, curtains drawn, the city’s noise muted to a distant hum.
For a few precious seconds, I forget everything else. There’s only the steady rhythm of her breathing, the softness of her hair brushing my jaw, the weight of her trust as she sleeps so peacefully beside me.
It feels like the life I’ve always wanted but never thought I could have. A moment outside of time. Safe and whole.
Then my phone buzzes.
The vibration rattles against the nightstand, sharp enough to slice through the fragile calm. My stomach drops before I even reach for it. I already know who it is. Derek.
I slide it into my palm, shielding the glow from Rochelle’s face. My eyes scan the screen and the peace I felt seconds ago burns to ash.
Make payments before the end of the day else I’ll destroy everything you’ve worked so hard to protect.
My jaw clenches as my chest ignites with fury, with helplessness. I want to crush the phone in my fist, drive across the city, and put an end to Derek’s games with my own hands.
But I don’t. I can’t because of everything that’s at stake. Everything I stand to lose, including the woman lying beside me.
I glance down at her. She stirs slightly, sighs, then settles back into me like nothing’s wrong. My throat closes. She has no idea what kind of target Derek is painting on her back. No idea the clock is ticking down.
Every instinct screams at me to tell her, to wake her up and spill everything about the threats, the deadline, the danger. But what would that do except drag her deeper into this nightmare of mine? She’d fight me, refuse to let me shield her, maybe even put herself in more danger by trying to help.
And the thought of Rochelle getting caught in Derek’s mess is unbearable.
So, I do what I’ve been doing. I lock it inside.
I brush my hand gently along her arm, tracing the curve of her shoulder, the warmth of her skin. For a heartbeat I let myself pretend this is normal, that we’re just another couple in a hotel bed, that the day ahead doesn’t carry a countdown with it.
Then I ease out from under her. Her hand slips off my chest, landing lightly on the sheets. She doesn’t stir. I stand there fora moment, watching her, the urge to crawl back into bed nearly knocking me flat.
I grab my phone, my jacket, and my keys. And then I slip out of the room as quietly as I can, shutting the door on the only peace I’ve felt in weeks.
Because if Derek wants her broken, he’ll have to go through me first.
