Page 107 of Santa Has a Six-Pack
“It’s us,” I correct and kiss her softly on the lips.
She smiles and deepens the kiss, pulling me off to the side so we don’t piss off any more pedestrians.
I think I can safely say the past three days have been the best three days of my life.
We’ve spent the past three nights together, alternating between her apartment and mine. During the days, whenever I haven’t been teaching or coaching, I’ve popped into Herald’s to see her so we can make out in the storage closets. I’m thinking about this woman nonstop. I’m operating on barely any sleep, but I’ve never felt more alive.
Now here we are, kissing and cozying up to each other on the street. Like a real couple.
Are we a couple?
I know I want us to be.
“Can I say something?” I ask when she breaks the kiss and smiles up at me.
I hear the nervousness in my voice, so I know she must too.
“Of course,” she says. “What’s up?”
Tell her you love her.
Tell her you want to be with her.
For real.
And maybe forever.
“Vibe check, bruh. On a scale of one to ten, ten being fire and one being taking an L, how much would you say the salty peach dance slaps?”
Or… say something ridiculous like that.
Come on, Barbera.
Get it together.
Unsurprisingly, I do not get it together. I keep on babbling in cool fifth grader speak.
“Personally, I think it’s bussin,’ and it’s all thanks to our snack of a choreographer. I mean, that lady understood the assignment! Do you know her? She’s high-key chill. Penny is her name, I think?”
“Oh yeahhhh,” she jokes. “I’ve heard of her. She’s super attractive, right?”
“Bet.” I beckon her closer and lower my voice. “TBH, I’m boutta crash out right now.”
“Really? Why?”
I wrap my arms around her waist and bend my knees so our foreheads touch. I breathe in the scent of her shampoo.
“Because this Penny girl is living rent-free in my head. We’ve had a few really special nights together this week. Now I’m shook trying to get a sense of her POV on the situation.”
“You’re shook, huh?”
“No cap, lady. You have me totally shook.”
She giggles, but then her expression turns more serious, possibly mirroring whatever is happening on my face.
We lock eyes.
“All joking aside, Penny…” I brush a hair out of her face. “It’s safe to say that I am officially out of my mind in love with you.”
