Page 12 of Sharkbait
“Forget her. Any girl who can’t recognize the wonderful man that you are isn’t worth your time or energy.”
“That’s the thing, though. I can’t forget her! It feels like the universe keeps putting her on my path.”
“Or on your sex trail,” Leather Man chortles.
I ignore him and continue, “First, she showed up at my bar. Then, the day after our... ‘road gig,’ I ran into her at Summer Fest, where my bar was serving brews. I waved to the woman, and she acted like I was insulting her simply by existing. And just before this meeting, while I was doing my regular volunteer shift diving at the aquarium, there she was again!”
“Alright. Jamesy, I gotta stop you there. I know in this group we all believe in a power greater than ourselves, but don’t go full woo on me now,” Kathy says.
“Full woo?”
“Yeah, boyo. You can’t really believe ‘the universe’ is putting you two together for some sort of meant-to-be rendezvous, do you?”
“I do. I do believe that. It feels like the universe consciously put her in front of me—”
“Orunderyou...” The woman in glasses giggles then quickly schools her features. “Sorry.”
“That’s fine. To be clear, though, we were mostly standing that night. But the few times we did find a surface, she was on top of me.”
She gives me a thumbs-up.
Why in the world did I feel a need to clarify that?
“Anyway, positions aren’t important. What’s important is that I’ve never felt a pull to someone like I do with this woman. I don‘t pretend to understand it. I just know it’s there. The second I saw her, it was like we already knew each other—like our souls recognized each other. Like this was the moment the planets agreed many millennia ago that they would align just right so she and I could land at the time and same place to join hands, sync hearts, and walk the journey of life together.”
“Oof.” Leather man shakes his head and can’t make eye contact with me.
“See?” I say and slam my ass back in the seat. “I’m a chump!”
“You’re not a chump, boyo,” Kathy says and gives my shoulder a squeeze. “I do think you could be putting the cart before the horse on this one, though. Perhaps you could have an actual conversation with this woman before you imagine you two aremarried and walking into the sunset?”
“She specifically asked me not to speak to her again. I feel like I have to respect that.”
“True.”
“Besides, we talked plenty that night.”
Correction:Italked. I wince when I remember how much I talked.
Female friends have told me the guys in their lives shut down when they’re nervous or uncomfortable. They go silent. Me? I’m the exact opposite. When I’m nervous, I will talk your fucking face off.
I let out a big breath and scrub my hands over my face. “This is nuts. I’m sorry for wasting your time, everyone. I just got done telling you all that I’m moving five thousand miles away in a few months. It’s not like I can start something with someone new anyway. So what is the point of even stressing over this?”
Kathleen gives me a bright smile. “Never a need to apologize here, Jamesy. And the point is, you’re a sensitive soul with a big, romantic heart. You’re allowed to get swept away from time to time. Just don’t let it bring you down.”
“You’re right, you’re right.” I’ve already taken too much of these people’s time. “Thanks, everybody.”
“Always a pleasure, boyo. Alright, friends, who would like to share next?”
Chapter Three
Louise
Calliope:Hey, women. Free tonight? I need your brilliant brains.
Mabel:I’m free, bitches! #MabelUnleashed
Me:Sure. What do you need?
