Page 11 of Sharkbait
“The Sex Addicts Anonymous group is down the hall, pal,” Leather Man huffs.
“Thanks for that. Not addicted to sex, though.” I turn toKathleen, “But hey, since he brought it up, permission to go further down the sex trail?”
“You don’t need my permission. But what the hell is a sex trail, and how do I get on one?” Kathleen laughs at her own joke, then drops into a more serious tone and addresses the group. “Before we continue, friends, I feel like I should mention for the new people in the room that we’re not exactly following meeting protocols right now. It’s clear, though, that our pal Jamesy needs a little back-and-forth on his dating drama, and we do try to give people what they need when they need it. Okay by everyone?”
She holds for any objections. When she doesn’t hear any, she gives me the floor again.
“Thanks, everyone. Alright, here’s what I’m struggling with.” I clear my throat. “Aren’t guys supposed to be the ones who are cool with the love ’em and leave ’em approach?”
The men in the room give a collective shrug.
Not exactly illuminating.
“Because I’ve been in my share of locker rooms, and most guys will tell you that one-night stands are the best thing ever. A girl wants to have sex with you and never see you again? That’s the dream!”
Kathleen opens her mouth to speak, but I cut her off before she can.
“Well, I’m telling you it’snotthe dream! It’s a nightmare. Don’t get me wrong, the sex itself was awesome, but the rejection afterward? Damn!”
I flash back to how she left the bar that night without a word. Like she does this sort of thing every day and I was just an amusing way to pass the time.
“Are you sure the sex was awesome?” a quiet woman with glasses asks. She comes to every meeting, but this is the first time I‘ve actually heard her speak.
“Excuse me?”
She nervously braids and unbraids her side ponytail. “I don’t mean to overstep, but you said the sex was awesome. Foryou. Are you sure it was awesome for her?”
“Yes! Absolutely!” But then my stomach drops out. “Oh shit.You think maybe it wasn’t awesome for her?!”
“Hard to say. I guess you’d have to ask her.”
I shake my head. “Impossible. When I said I can’t speak to her, I meant that literally. She said if I ever saw her again after that night to act like we’d never met.”
“Ho ho ho!” Leather man laughs and slaps my back again. “Looks like you have your answer right there. You ain’t got the goods, kid.”
“I have the goods!”
The woman in the glasses gives me a doubtful look.
“No! I really think I do! She gave me all the signs! She was very—” I stumble over my words. “She definitely had several, um… Let’s just say... she was into it.”
Another look.
“She was! And I feel I should clarify for my own pride and reputation; she laid down the ‘never speak to me again’ rulesbeforewe...”
“Went all the way?” the woman fills in my blank.
“Sure. Yes. ‘Went all the way’ will work.”
I feel like an awkward teenager talking about his first time, which is ridiculous. I am a thirty-two-year-old man. Obviously, I’ve had plenty of “times.” I’m a father, for fuck’s sake. Part of me wants to abandon this topic and let someone else take the floor, but I’ve already gone this far, and I need to get to the bottom of this for my own mental health. So I choose to continue with the semi-public humiliation.
Kathleen steps in. “I’m sure you’re lovely in bed, Jamesy.”
“Thanks, Kath.”
“But even if you’re not, you know everything we say in this room is confidential, so your secret is safe with us.” She pauses a moment. “Want my opinion on the matter?”
“Always.”
