Page 15 of The Beast of the Highlands
He swallowed, their hot breath mingling. “What would ye have me do?”
“Use them as the brave knights use them upon their beloveds, in the countless tales we have read to one another,” she murmured. Her lips parted uncertainly, so close to his that he could almost taste their sweetness.
With that request, his last morsel of willpower deserted him. Holding her tight, he caught her mouth with his and grazed his lips against hers, moving with a slow, intense pressure until his entire body felt as though it were ablaze. He could not get her close enough, no matter how he pulled her to him.
At first, her kisses were tentative and awkward, suggesting she had never done anything of this kind before. Then, as they settled into a certain harmony, she grew in confidence before him until they were kissing like lovers who had been separated by war, or tragedy, or circumstance, and had finally been reunited.
“So, this is what… it is like,” she panted, breaking their kiss for a second.
He pressed his mouth to hers again, letting his arms protect her back from the hard ridges of the bookshelf as his body urged hers further back against it. And as his tongue slipped into her mouth, he felt her jolt slightly in surprise, only to relax as she lethertongue emulate his movements.
In his seven-and-twenty years, he had never experienced anything like this, where it felt as though he had transcended the mortal world altogether. He could not even think. There was nothing but her, and this library—their secret domain, where they could give into their desires for one another.
She pushed gently against his chest, smiling up at him. “I knew you were a dangerous man, Flynn… but I did not understand why until now. Your kiss is like a tonic that I cannot be without.” She lifted on tiptoe and kissed him once more, with such vigor that it almost knocked him back.
“Och, lass, ye daenae ken how I’ve wanted to kiss ye,” he growled, kissing her back with all the fervor in his heart. The heart that had been longing for her, all these weeks.
Aye, and this is dangerous. Too dangerous. I shouldnae have kissed ye, lass. I shouldnae… nae when ye daenae ken the truth.
Abruptly, he pulled away from her. His breaths rasped in ragged pants as he took a few steps back and put his hands up, as though in surrender. And as he looked upon her startled, worried face, all of his passion and ardor was swept away by a tide of raw guilt.
“Did I say something wrong?” Her hand flew to her mouth, her fingertips tracing the lips he had just kissed. And wanted to kiss again, for as long as he had breath in his lungs.
But I cannae… and I cannae keep evadin’ the truth.
“Nay, lass. Ye dinnae say or do aught wrong,” he assured, as he stepped back toward her and took hold of her hands. “I’m the coward. I’m the devil who deserves yer forgiveness. It’s tearin’ up my innards that I havenae been honest.”
The worry in her eyes bloomed, until it looked as though she might cry. “What do you mean?”
He sighed, expelling the misery from his chest. “When ye asked me if I was married, I said I wasnae.”
“Are you?” Autumn wrenched her hands out of his: her face contorting in a mask of horror.
He shook his head. “I amnae, but… I’m betrothed to a lass that I’ll never love. I cannae stand her, truth be told. Ye can ask Leighton—he’ll tell ye. He cannae stand her, either.” He wished he could take the pain out of Autumn’s eyes as he spoke. “She’s Laird Dunn’s daughter. The marriage was arranged just after my ma and da died—it was in his letters, as somethin’ he wanted in order to secure peace in our lands against the English Army, and… I was foolish enough to see it done, as my da’s last wishes."
Fearing she might walk away at any moment, he continued hastily, “I wasnae in my right mind. I just wanted to do what was right by my da, but as soon as I arranged it, I regretted it. I have done ever since, which is why I’ve been delayin’ it constantly. Aye, it’d secure our lands, and help stop the English Army pillagin’, but it’d make me miserable.”
As he feared she might, Autumn did not say a word. Instead, she turned on her heel and strode away from him. A few moments later, he heard the library door slam, and knew this was the last time he would ever meet her here, in this paradise. For no paradise could last. Someone always did something to destroy it… and that someone was him.
9
The following morning, red-eyed and paler than the snow on the ground outside the castle, it took every shred of strength Autumn possessed to make the slow walk toward her daily duties.
I put my family’s future in peril for the sake of a weak moment. I will not do so again.
After all, if Flynn decided to cast her out for her boldness, or because she might be a threat to his future marriage, her time here would be for nothing. She would have to go home and face destitution, because she had not been able to control herself.
I read too many books. I allowed myself to fantasize, and this is my bitter reward.
Breathing deeply, she stopped outside Leighton’s private study door. The location of his educating had changed after he had begun to take an interest, and she felt a sudden rush of relief as she knocked and entered. This would be the perfect salve to her wounded heart.
“Oh…” She came to an abrupt halt on the threshold, as she saw the face she had been hoping to avoid.
Flynn leaned against the front of Leighton’s bureau, while the younger man sat behind it. They appeared to be in the middle of a conversation, though it had ceased as soon as Autumn stepped into the room.
“I must be early.” She shuffled backward. “Please, do not mind me.”
Flynn raised a hand. “Nay, lass, ye daenae have to do that. Ye’re nae early. I’ve set my lads to take over the day’s duties. I want to see how ye teach my brother and see what he’s learned from ye.” His eyes implored her. “Daenae go, lass.”
