Page 16 of The Beast of the Highlands
Leighton rolled his eyes. “I tried to tell him to leave us be, but he willnae listen to the young’un. Never has.” He cast a sharp look at his brother. “Ye’d be much happier if ye had.”
A stilted silence stretched between the brothers, while Autumn tried to decipher the unspoken discussion that was happening before her eyes. Had Flynn told Leighton of last night? Surely not. And yet, there seemed to be a hidden meaning in Leighton’s insistence that Flynn would be much happier if he listened to him.
“Look at her, Flynn.” Leighton waved a hand in Autumn’s direction. “Ye did that to her. Honestly, I like her more than I like ye, so ye’re treadin’ on dangerous territory. I’ve half a mind to usurp ye, just so I daenae have to see her sad eyes.”
Flynn’s face fell. “And I’m here to apologize… profusely, until she can find it in her to forgive me.”
“You told him?” Autumn wanted to disappear, as humiliation flooded her cheeks with heat.
Leighton sighed. “Ye cannae blame him for that, at least. I wanted to find him, to show him the dagger ye gave me, and I… walked in on ye. I walked right back out again, but then I saw ye runnin’ back to yer chambers, and then him comin’ up after with a face like a wailin’ bairn, and knew what’d happened.” A small smile crept onto his face. “I’ve seen ye makin’ eyes at each other for weeks, so it wasnae a surprise.”
“I cannot endure this,” Autumn gasped, feeling as if she might faint. “Truly, I cannot. This is too humiliating.”
Leighton sprang up and hurried to Autumn’s side. “Och, there’s nothin’ to be ashamed about.” He put an arm around her, to keep her upright. “I mean it, Autumn—I like ye more than I like him. And I wish he’d marry ye, instead of that wretched lass he’s betrothed to. I told him nae to do it, but he wouldnae heed me.”
“I wish it, too.” Flynn pushed away from the bureau and came closer to Autumn. “If it wouldnae cause chaos between the MacLennans and the Dunns, I’d put an end to it here and now. I’d write to Laird Dunn and tell him I cannae uphold the betrothal. Then… we could be like Guigemar and his beloved.”
Tears pricked Autumn’s eyes as she heard that, for it was one of their favorite poems to read to one another from the poems of Marie de France. In it, the hero and heroine were not sure of the sincerity of their feelings, at first, but once it was confessed, they gained a legendary love that overcame everything.
Why would you say that? Why would you dangle such hope, knowing you cannot give it?
Gulping down her sadness, she straightened up. “You must do whatever is best for your clan.” Her voice trembled slightly, giving away her true sentiments. “I would not stand in the way of that. I only wish to teach Leighton, and to impart my knowledge until he is too old for such things. My family is relying on me, as your clan is relying on you.”
“Och, shouldIride to Laird Dunn and tell him he can toss that betrothal in the pigsty, where it belongs?” Leighton gave Autumn’s shoulders a friendly jig. “Ye cannae both be miserable. I cannae bear it. Ye’re me two favorite people.”
Flynn balled his hands into fists. “It isnae that simple, Brother. When ye’re a Laird, there are things ye have to do that ye daenae want to.”
“Aye, but ye’ll be stuck with Princess Haughty for the rest of yer days!” Leighton protested.
Flynn sighed. “Enough, lad. I daenae want to upset Autumn any more than I already have.” His eyes sought hers. “I truly am sorry, lass, and if things were different… Well, I think ye ken. But maybe ye daenae ken how much I wish they were different.”
“That does not matter,” Autumn told him. “Let us put it behind us.”
His mouth twisted in a sad grimace. “I wasnae tryin’ to trick ye. How I feel for ye wasnae a lie.”
“As I said, it does not matter.” Autumn dug her fingernails into her palms. “We should forget it, for all our sakes. I am mortified, and I no longer wish to be, so if we could all pretend that nothing has taken place, I would be grateful.”
Flynn gave a small nod. “Aye… as ye prefer, lass.”
But his eyes said something different. His eyes said, “I daenae want to forget it.” Nor did Autumn, in truth, but she had to put her family’s future before the fickleness of her heart. And if that meant forgetting, she would do her very best to try.
A thought came to her, which might serve as the reprieve she needed.
“Actually, I meant to discuss this with you yesterday, Laird MacLennan.” She could no longer, in good conscience, call him “Flynn.” Not if she wanted to succeed in forgetting. “You will remember that we talked, last week, of me returning to my family home upon my day of rest, this coming Sunday?”
Flynn froze.
“I think it best that I do so,” Autumn continued. “My family have received letters, but they will not be satisfied until they see that I am well. I will depart on Saturday, once I am relieved of my duties, and return Sunday evening.”
Leighton stared at her. “Ye’ll come back though, aye?”
“Of course,” she said. “What else would I do?”
As her eyes met Flynn’s once more, she saw his brother’s concern reflected. Throughout the past week, she had feared returning home, knowing it would be difficult to leave Flynn and the library evenings she had so adored. Now, however, she had a feeling that coming back would be the hard part.
For separation is surely better than seeing you wed another, knowing you can never be mine…
10
