Page 77 of Keeper
Vi’s wide, accusing eyes find mine as she reaches the top step. She then swerves her murderous gaze at Andrew. “Andrew, I think you need to give me some time with my brother.”
Andrew sniffs haughtily. “I’ll be coming back.” He grabs the suitcase and shoulders past me to the steps.
I watch him descend, fisting my hands at my sides the whole time. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Vi watching me with her familiar hands on her familiar hips. Mummy hat clearly on.
“What the bloody hell is going on?” she snaps.
I turn away from her, my jaw muscle ticking with anger. I can’t find the words to begin telling her what’s going on because I don’t even know myself. I’ve never wanted to punch someone so hard in all my life. Gareth has the temper in our family. He’s the one who rages and we all have to rip him off. There’s never been a problem I couldn’t talk myself out of.
This isn’t me.
I look at Vi and her eyes soften when she takes in my changed expression.
“Booker,” she says softly. “Come on, let’s have some coffee.”
She grabs my arm and pulls me inside, annoyingly rubbing my back as we enter. I sit down at the table while Vi makes herself at home in my kitchen. The smell of coffee brewing should bring me comfort. Instead, it makes me think about the time Poppy rested her head on my arm as we stood in perfect, blissful silence, enjoying the warmth of each other while awaiting the start of our day.
Vi sits down across from me and pushes a steaming mug into my hands. “Start talking.”
I swallow the knot in my throat. “I don’t know where to begin.”
“Where’s Poppy?”
I sniff once. “Gone.”
“To where?”
“That’s what I was trying to figure out when you showed up.”
“Is that why you’re not answering anyone’s calls? And why you missed Sunday dinner last week?” she asks, tapping her hands on the side of the mug expectantly. “I came here today to make sure you don’t miss this week’s as well.”
“I don’t feel like Sunday dinner, Vi.” I close my eyes as I take a tentative sip of the hot liquid. The burn feels good.
“Booker, what happened?” she asks, her voice pleading.
I shrug. “Everything I always expected to happen. Poppy told me she loved me and then she left.”
Vi inhales sharply. “Why did she leave?”
“Because I couldn’t fucking say it back!” I exclaim in frustration. Vi knows the answer to that question and I hate that she’s making me say it. “Because you’re exactly right! I’m fucking damaged goods and you should be ashamed of me.”
Vi tsks and shakes her head, a sad look in her eyes making me feel like ten tons of dog shit. “What else did she say? Surely there’s more to it than that.”
I slam my eyes shut and drop my head into my hands, resisting the words I haven’t even allowed myself to say out loud.
“Booker,” she urges. “Is what Andrew said true?”
I look up at her knowing, glassy eyes and nod. She closes them and winces. “What are you going to do about it?”
“I haven’t a fucking clue, Vi,” I answer, emotion boiling over the top at admitting this out loud to the universe. “I can’t even wrap my head around the fact that she’s not still here, let alone the idea that she’s growing my baby inside of her. She left again. Just like before. My best friend left and I couldn’t do anything to stop her because she wants something I can’t give her.”
“Love?” Vi asks.
I nod. “I can barely say the word to you, never mind her. And the rest of you make it look so easy. You’re playing happy family. Tanner is married. Camden is on his way. Now Gareth just needs to fall for someone and then I’ll truly be completely alone.”
“You’re not alone!” she cries, an angry vein protruding on her temple. “Look at me, Booker. I’m right bloody here. We’re Harrises! We don’t give you enough space to consider the idea of loneliness. Tanner would probably come over here and spoon you right now if you gave him the green light.”
“Oh sod off,” I groan.
