Page 45 of Letting Go of Yesterday
‘I know. He’s helped loads up at the school too, with all the stuff we’ve been working on, not just for Leo, but putting up playground equipment for the other children too. He’s a pretty special person.’ Rowan tried once again to keep her expression neutral, but her father didn’t miss the look that must have crossed her face.
‘I knew it!’ He wagged a finger at her. ‘I told Marion there was something going on between you two, but she kept telling me that I was wrong and that you and James might still make a go of things. I’m glad that’s not true, because he’s not right for you, he never was and life is too short not to give yourself a second chance to find the person you’re supposed to do life with. But maybe you already have.’
‘Now you really are getting carried away, Dad.’ She laughed, leaning in to his shoulder for a moment. The weird thing was she could picture herself with Nathan, but it was probably because she’d spent half her teens doing just that. It was ridiculous to think it might actually happen, especially when Nathan had made it clear that they were better off as friends. She hadn’t had the chance to tell him the full story about James yet; her dad and stepparents still didn’t even know. Marion had invited everyone to Sunday lunch and she was intending to explain everything then, so it wouldn’t be a shock the next time James came up for a visit and hopefully, if Euan could forgive him, brought his new partner to meet them all. Either way, James had decided not to retract his resignation at Membory Grange. He was still considering the possibility of becoming a parish priest, but he’d told Rowan, after everything they’d gone through, that he needed to be able to be completely true to himself and not hide who he was just to get a job.
‘I owe you that,’ he’d said, hugging her tightly when they’d been saying their goodbyes. It meant he was considering other options, one of which was to do a master’s degree in social work or counselling, so he could help young people who might be going through something similar to what his father and uncle had faced. Rowan was sure he’d make the right choice, because he was finally able to be himself and he already seemed lighter for it. She hoped he might make the decision to move to Cornwall too, so that the children could see him whenever they wanted, but she wasn’t going to try to influence him. James had been constrained for so long and he deserved this second chance to discover what he wanted without anyone else telling him what to do.
‘Oh, here’s Nathan now.’ Rowan’s dad nudged her and she wanted to blame her sharp intake of breath on the elbow she’d just got in the ribs, but it had been far too gentle to provoke that kind of reaction. It was Nathan who’d taken her breath away. He was smiling as he showed Leo the cake, his blue eyes lighting up at his nephew’s excited reaction. Nathan’s dark hair looked slightly windswept, but in a very attractive sort of way, like Heathcliff striding across the moors.Oh my God.She tried to shake the thought out of her head the moment it arrived, but she couldn’t. He was a beautiful man, inside and out.
‘Can you get some more people to come and play hide-and-seek with us, please, Nathan?’ Bella, who’d been outside with Tiffany and some of the others, had shot back into the house, clearly having seen him arrive. ‘The little kids are rubbish at finding us and none of the other adults would come outside when you weren’t here, but I bet you can get them to do it because you managed to get loads of them to do the race. Even Mr Phipps and he never runs, even when he’s supposed to be teaching us how to play football.’
Nathan was obviously trying to suppress a smile at the mention of Mr Phipps, who came in to run some of the sports’ sessions at the school. He was a good teacher and popular with the children, but Rowan had been warned by Bex that he had a reputation for doing anything he could to avoid physical assertion, which even included wearing the type of trainers that had elasticated laces so that they didn’t have to be undone. It had been nothing short of a miracle to see him panting to the finish line, among the last of the stragglers, on the day of the half marathon.
‘I promise I’ll round some of them up, as soon as we’ve cut the cake. Do you think you could be an absolute star and get everyone who’s outside to come in and sing happy birthday to Leo?’
‘Yes, you’re the best!’ Bella grinned, unknowingly echoing her grandfather’s words as she dashed back outside to round the other children up.
Within a couple of minutes everyone was assembled for Leo’s big moment. Will and Heather were standing to one side of their son, with their gorgeous baby daughter, Nathalia, cradled in Heather’s arms. Irene was on the other side with Nathan, and because Rowan wasn’t sure if anyone was capturing the moment for the family, she’d reached down into her bag, which was on one of the chairs, and pulled out her mobile phone.
‘Are you ready, Leo?’ Nathan looked at his nephew who nodded, before lighting the candles on the cake, as a rousing rendition of happy birthday began.
‘Now you just need to blow out your candles, darling,’ Heather instructed. ‘And don’t forget to make a wish.’
Everyone cheered as Leo managed the feat with a single breath and then screwed up his eyes to make a wish. Ending the recording, Rowan was about to pick up her handbag, so that she could drop the phone back into it, when Louise Duffy, one of the parents at the school, suddenly hissed in her ear.
‘Best to keep your handbag close to you in this house. You never know when your purse might get nicked with someone like Nathan around.’
‘What did you say?’ Rowan’s tone was icy cold as she turned to look at the woman who’d made regular appointments to see her to complain about one thing or another. Last time it had been the fact that her daughter had supposedly received fewer house points than she should have done, and to share her opinion that the system was rigged so that certain children were guaranteed to come out on top. In her words, it was‘clear to anyone with eyes in their head that my Ellie-Mae should be top of the class’.Louise Duffy was a thorn in Rowan’s side that her job forced her to put up with, but she wasn’t at work now and a line had been crossed that Rowan just couldn’t ignore.
‘I’m just saying, everyone knows what he did, and a leopard never really changes its spots, does it? I know your boy is friends with his nephew, but you wouldn’t want to leave your purse unattended around him, would you?’
‘Oh, I’d do a whole lot more than that.’ Dropping her bag back on the chair, Rowan turned away from Louise Duffy and crossed the room to where Nathan was now standing. Blood was whooshing in her ears and her heart was racing with the adrenaline that was pulsing through her veins, but she couldn’t have stopped herself even if she’d wanted to.
‘Nathan.’ Her eyes met his as he turned to look at her and she reached up, putting a hand on either side of his face and pulling it towards hers before kissing him, not with the kind of passion she would have if they’d been by themselves, but in a way that would leave no one in any doubt that she saw him as far more than a friend.
The room seemed to go deathly silent for a second or two as she pulled away again, before another massive cheer erupted. The only problem was that the expression on Nathan’s face was completely blank, and Rowan had absolutely no idea how he felt about what had just happened. Whatever it was, it didn’t look good.
24
‘You told her, didn’t you?’ Nathan had all but dragged Will upstairs by his arm, when the cheering had finally died down after Rowan had kissed him. He felt awful for just leaving her there, batting away all the questions he could hear coming thick and fast from the other guests, about how long all of this had been going on, and what dark horses they were. He had no idea what the kiss meant, or what was happening with James, but before he did anything – before he even spoke to Rowan – he needed to know one thing and he was still waiting for his brother’s answer, but Will looked completely nonplussed.
‘Told her what?’
‘That the VAT fraud…’ Nathan lowered his voice to almost a whisper. ‘Was you and not me.’
‘No, I didn’t. I swear.’ Will locked eyes with him and he knew his brother was telling the truth. ‘But I think you should. She needs to know it was me who took the money, I was the idiot who risked everything and you were the one who paid the price.’
‘You weren’t an idiot, you were desperate. I might well have done the same thing in those circumstances.’
‘No, you wouldn’t have, because you’re a better man than me. You took my sentence to protect my family, that’s something I’ll never forget. But you deserve people to know that, especially Rowan, if you like her even half as much as I think you do.’
‘I don’t like her.’ Will raised his eyebrows in disbelief as Nathan paused for a moment. ‘I love her. I did when we were younger, but I was too slow off the mark and I missed the chance. Now, I don’t know what to do. It’s all so much more complicated, she’s got her position in the community, and then there’s the situation with James.’
‘You’re an amazing person, Nath, but sometimes you can be as thick as a brick.’ Will grinned. ‘Don’t you see that none of that matters? Rowan couldn’t have made that more obvious by kissing you in front of everyone, although maybe she actually needs to hit you over the head with a brick if you still don’t get it. She. Feels. The. Same.’
He said the last four words incredibly slowly and then pretended to knock on the side of Nathan’s head. ‘Please tell me you get it now?’
‘Do you really think so, even though she has no idea what happened before I went to prison?’
