Page 65 of My Heart's Doctor
“I’m more sane than ever. That man feels something for you, and I’m sure you feel something strong for him too.”
“You’re wrong. I won’t deny that I’m very attracted to him and that... you know... I desire him,” I whispered, as if Aurora could understand anything we were talking about, “but there’s a huge gap between that and being in love.”
“No gap at all, you can’t fool me. You have strong feelings for him. And, to be clear, I think that’s fine, as long as you’re sure you won’t get hurt,” she pointed out.
“And how can I be sure of that? It’s impossible to be sure, but I’m not in love with him.”
“Alright, let’s leave this topic for now. Would you like me to go with you to buy the bed for the little girl? That way we can see each other and chat for a while. I start work at six in the evening.”
“Perfect, I’ll pick you up in an hour.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
The time we spent with Sylvia was wonderful. She and Aurora got along right away, although Aurora was shy and wouldn’t leave my side. At that moment I understood why everyone else had been so surprised by her relationship with me; it was obvious that she was a child who didn’t open up much to strangers and was rather shy, but with me she had gotten along wonderfully from the moment we met.
We had lunch and then visited several places looking for a bed that would be safe for her. I ended up buying a bed, a nightstand,a lamp, and all the necessary bedding. Later, after dropping Sylvia off at the clinic where she worked, we went for ice cream and then stopped by a toy store to buy some toys. The furniture would be delivered the next day, so Aurora would have to sleep with me that night.
When we got to my apartment, I noticed she was tired, so I prepared something for her to eat, gave her a bath, and put her to bed. I only read a couple of pages before she fell asleep.
I went back to the living room to gather all the toys that had been left on the floor and then sat down to reflect. Spending the whole day with that little girl had been incredible. I was clear that Aurora awakened my maternal instinct, and that was very dangerous for me, but I preferred to suffer rather than abandon her. That small, fragile, and vulnerable child needed me, and I wasn’t going to fail her, even if I later paid the consequences with a broken heart.
My phone started ringing, pulling me from my thoughts. It was Cavaller. He had called in the afternoon, and I had spoken very little with him because I had immediately passed the phone to Aurora. Just to reassure him, I had only mentioned that my work situation was resolved, and I had preferred that he speak with his daughter.
“Hello,” I answered.
“Hello, Devon. How has your day been?” he asked, very delicately.
“We had a very nice day. She’s sleeping now. But don’t worry because she’s doing very well. She likes my apartment and is fascinated with the toys we bought today,” I told him, but I didn’t want to say anything about buying the furniture because I was aware that it might give him the impression that I wanted Aurora to come stay with me often, even though that was what I truly desired with all my heart.
“I have no doubt how happy she must be, and thank you very much for taking the trouble to buy her toys.”
“It was no trouble at all, I’m also enjoying Aurora’s company.”
“I would have liked to call earlier to wish her goodnight, but today was a complicated day,” he said, and I could tell from his voice that he was really tired.
“Don’t worry. She’s fine and hasn’t asked about you,” I said, though I immediately regretted it because knowing that his daughter didn’t miss him might not please him much.
“That, believe it or not, puts me at ease and makes me happy. I wouldn’t want to know that she’s not having a good time, but I’m clear that she’s happy with you,” he affirmed, surprising me.
“Have you heard anything from Alba? I sent her a message, but I haven’t had a response,” I asked, to change the subject.
“I spoke with her and she was organizing everything for when they discharge her son. The surgery was a success and the boy is doing well. She was very emotional about being there.”
“I’m very glad to hear that.”
“Devon...” he said, but didn’t finish whatever he was going to say.
“Yes?” I said, encouraging him to speak.
“Nothing, nothing. We’ll talk tomorrow. Sleep well.”
“You too.”
When we finished talking, I sat staring at the phone. We had such calm and warm conversations that there were moments when I was left speechless. I knew it was because he needed me, but the situation we were experiencing showed me a facet of his personality that I hadn’t known before and made him seem more human in my eyes. I didn’t want to think about the possibility of having something with him again, but the mind is treacherous and, without wanting to, I found myself questioning whether this situation could bring us closer and allow us to betogether again. I really didn’t want to think about it because I had been the one who told him I didn’t want a relationship with him, but in those days I had longed for him so much that I was very confused. With all that spinning in my head, I went to bed. Having Aurora by my side didn’t help me stop thinking about Cavaller and a possible...
No, Devon! Don't think about that because you know it's impossible. You can't aspire to that!, I told myself.
I was clear that having a family was something that would never happen for me. I had to banish William from my thoughts.
