Page 16 of My Heart's Doctor
“Would you like to go out for a drink with me?”
“I appreciate the offer, but...”
“Call me Xavier,” he requested.
“Thank you, Xavier, but I’ve had a long day and I’m very tired.”
“Another time perhaps?”
I looked at him, squinting my eyes, while Alba watched us attentively and seemed to be enjoying herself.
“I would love it if you accepted,” he said, not caring that we weren’t alone. “Would you give me your phone number?”
For a few seconds, I didn’t know what to say.
“I have complicated schedules,” I said.
“Who doesn’t? But I’m sure we can coordinate something,” he insisted.
“All right,” I finally said, taking a business card from my purse and handing it to him. I did it because it didn’t seem right to reject him, but even though he was very attractive, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go out with him.
“Thank you,” he said, and put it in his pants pocket.
I said goodbye to him and Alba, they walked me to the door, and I started the journey to my building, which was short because it turned out we didn’t live that far apart. I was tired but happy to have spent such a fun afternoon with Aurora becauseI loved seeing her so happy. I had never had the opportunity to spend time like this with a child and I had enjoyed it immensely. I also knew that I couldn’t get too attached to that little girl because her father wouldn’t allow us to have a close relationship, and I could understand that because I was still a stranger to him.
When I reached my floor, I was tired and the joy had given way to sadness. That little girl was winning my heart and I sensed that separating from her was going to be painful, but that was probably what was going to happen.
I took a long shower and went to bed. It wasn’t easy to fall asleep; I couldn’t stop thinking about that little girl and how alone she was, and I also couldn’t stop thinking about her father. The most confusing thing was that I missed hearing his voice, that strong and authoritative, but also sensual sound. Why did I want to hear it? Evidently, there was something wrong with my head.
Chapter 5
“Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world.”
—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry – “The Little Prince”.
William
When I arrived home, after giving the phone to the doctor, I was feeling nervous. That woman had managed to unsettle me. I couldn’t remember the last time a woman had affected me like this. She was beautiful, sensual, and had a sweetness that enveloped you like a warm blanket on a cold afternoon. But I knew clearly that I needed to stay away from her. People who provoke these emotions are very dangerous, and I didn’t want to take any risks. I had a daughter who was my priority, and I couldn’t allow myself to fall under any woman’s spell. Besides, the doctor had also won Aurora’s affection, and if they continued seeing each other, it could become very painful for my daughter, and I couldn’t allow that.
Fortunately, the next day I had to travel to New York on business matters, and I was going to take advantage of it to have fun and go out with several women to give free rein to my passion. That would ensure I erased any trace of Devon Dulcet from my mind.
I entered my daughter’s bedroom and sat on her bed watching her. Aurora had never had a mother. And, as much as I adored her and tried to be both father and mother, I clearly understood that I could never replace everything a mother means in a daughter’s life. When I had seen her with Devon, I had imagined my daughter with a maternal figure, but it was clear she wouldnever have one because I didn’t want any woman in that place. I didn’t want any woman permanently in my life. The only little woman I had and would always have by my side would be her. I wouldn’t allow anyone to play with our feelings the way Cristina had done.
I kissed her on the forehead and left her bedroom to go to mine. When I lay down in my enormous bed, for the first time in years, I felt alone. An overwhelming loneliness invaded me. It was as if suddenly a huge rock was weighing on my sternum, crushing me down to my lungs and preventing me from breathing. Why the hell was I feeling this way? As if I might crumble at any moment. Why did I feel this emptiness in my chest?
“For God’s sake!” I exclaimed.
I was tempted to get up and go to some bar to try to hook up with a woman who would appease the irrational desire I felt and that absurd feeling of loneliness, but I thought about it a bit and decided to stay home. I wanted to get up early to wake Aurora and spend the morning with her because in the afternoon I already had to leave for the airport, and we were going to be several days without seeing each other.
I had a shitty night where all I did was toss and turn in bed. The next day, as soon as I got up, I went straight to my daughter’s bedroom, but the little one was still sleeping.
“Good morning, Mr. Cavaller,” Alba greeted me as she entered Aurora’s bedroom at that moment.
“Good morning, Alba. I remind you that I’m traveling to New York this afternoon.”
“I was aware of that. How many days will you be abroad?” she asked, while opening the curtains to let the sun into the bedroom.
“A week, maybe I can return earlier, but I can’t promise you that.”
