Page 148 of Until We Burn
“I know we started off as friends with benefits. I know it was just supposed to be sex, but it’s become something more for me. Something I don’t want to let go of.” A small, incredulous smile breaks across Kai’s face like the sun rising from the dark. “I love how I can talk to you about anything, because you understand what I’m going through. You make me laugh like no one else does. For the first time, I fucking love Mondays because I know I’ll get to see you the moment I walk through that door.”
His grief fades ever so slightly as he looks at me with his entire heart in his eyes. “I’m so in love with you, Di. There’s only so many places where I feel like I have a home, and you’re one of those places. I don’t just want the sex. I want you. It doesn’t matter if we’re running errands or running from the Vipers…I want it all as long as it’s with you.”
Kai lets out a big breath. My composure breaks as he brushes his knuckles across my jaw. It stiffens in its effort to rein my tears back.
“I know that’s what I want,” he whispers. “What about you? What do you want?”
I shut my eyes. The first tear falls and pricks my trembling lips.
“I want us to stop seeing each other.”
CHAPTER 59
KAI
I wantus to stop seeing each other.
A sharp pain stabs my chest, sinking and draining all the air in my lungs.
“I don’t…” I stammer. “Why do you…I-I don’t understand.”
Diana rises to her feet with her hands pressing into her face. She sighs. “I’m trying to protect you, Kai.”
“From what? Your dad?”
“Yes.”Diana’s hands drop from her face, revealing teary eyes flashing with fear. “He told me that everything I’ve endured these last two months was a test to see how far I’d go to earn back my spot in the running.”
Anger snaps inside of me. I rake my hand through my hair, snarling under my breath,“Fils de pute.”
Son of a bitch.
“I don’t want my father to break you the same way he broke me, Kai. That’s why we can’t—” Her voice breaks off into a whisper that has my heart splintering. “We can’t be together.”
I shake my head. “I know your dad won’t let you go that easily, but it can’t always be like this.You can’t keep living a life like this, Di.”
“I don’t know what else to do!” Diana cries out. “It’s safer for the both of us if we never see each other again!”
“Bad things are going to happen whether or not I’m with you! Simon is always going to be there. Your dad will never stop wanting to control you. We can’t just keep waiting for the day when everything is suddenly perfect in our lives to be together!”
“I can’t just leave the company! I’ve been bound to my father and his expectations my entire life! I don’t know the first thing about paving a path for myself that doesn’t involve him!”
I hug Diana close and brush the tears from her eyes.
“Then I’ll stay,” I promise. “I’ll be right here with you while you figure everything out.”
For a second, she hesitates in my arms. I can tell she’s wrestling with the quiet urge to give in despite everything telling her to walk away. Diana whispers something under her breath before her hand comes over mine. Our fingers brush together and her smooth skin drags across my callouses. The hope coming alive on her face suddenly dies under the fear clouding her expression.
“No.” Diana shakes her head and pushes against me.“No.This is a fire I have to put out, Kai. It’s going to take us down if I don’t.”
“I’ll go down with you if that happens,” I grind out. “I’m staying, Di. Right here beside you.Until we burn.”
Diana only pushes me back harder. She shies out of my arms and wipes her face, as she walks towards the door.
“It’s g-getting late,” she stammers. “I have to go.”
I rush after her, my mind racing for the right words to make her understand that I will want her even if it’s dangerous. But only desperation bleeds through the cracks in my voice. “Look, it doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to get through this by yourself!”
“Kai, stop!” Diana begs. “Being with me isn’t worth all of this!”
