Page 149 of Until We Burn
“You think I’m only doing this to be with you?” I gasp, “No, I’m standing here arguing with you because I know you deserve a better life than what your dad is forcing you into!”
“Just stop, okay? Stop fighting for me!”
“No! I’m never going to stop fucking fighting for you, Diana!”
“Yes, you will!”Diana darts around with eyes so cold and harsh,they cut as deep as her words. “Because there’s nothing here that’s worth saving.”
My hands drop down.
In that immaculate black dress with her hair pin-straight, the heiress who keeps people at arm’s length stares back at me. No matter how much I search her face, I can’t find the girl I’ve been falling for.
“Come back.” The words slip out, shaky and trembling. It’s so fucking stupid and it makes no sense, but that’s all I can say when I step towards her to cradle her face between my hands. “Come back and hit your hand against my chest. Look up at me with that damn smile I’m so weak for. Please, just…come back.”
Diana simply blinks. Her voice is devoid of the sass and the energy I love so much. “I’m standing right here, Kai.”
“No,” I whisper. “No, you’re not.”
She sighs. Diana pries my hands off her. Pain splinters through her touch that it’s baffling how my bones are still holding me up.
Diana forces something into my hand, and I stare down at it. The coin I gave her lies there, drained of its light.
“Let. Me. Go, Kai.”
My sight unblurs just enough for me to see Diana one last time. Her stoic mask cracks a little. For a moment, I can see traces of the fierce, beautiful girl I’ve fallen for. But she’s slipping and fading away and there’s nothing I can do to bring her back.
Out of every injury I’ve ever had, none of them have hurt as much as watching someone you care about become another stranger who used to feel like home.
I dive into my pocket and draw out her hair clip. Diana takes it back and turns to leave.
The door slams shut behind her.
My head drops against the wood. Diana’s heels echo across the floors outside, receding farther and farther away until it’s completely quiet.
No trace of her stays back. Not even her perfume that always lingers on my skin and my clothes.
Diana disappears from my life as if she was never here at all.
CHAPTER 60
DIANA
Diana,
After a thorough review of the documents you’ve provided and the recent news reports that have come to light, the board has decided to reinstate you as editor-in-chief of the Howler. You will resume your duties starting this week. Andrea Whitney, the interim editor-in-chief, will be present to help make this transition as seamless as possible. Thank you for your cooperation throughout this process. We’re glad to have you back.
BV
A heavy achethrobs behind my temple before I click off my phone and focus on finishing up my readings before Mellonbaum’s class starts. In the corner of my eye, my phone lights up again. Emails from the Howler bombard my student inbox, while my HMG inbox is overflowing with reporters asking for interviews and statements.
Pressure pushes down on my chest. I fight back the urge to pathetically search for the one phone number that I’m used to turning to whenever everything gets too much to bear. Even though I never labeled it with Kai’s name, my heart always knew it was him.
I struggle to breathe through the deep ache burrowing inside of me.
I’m doing this to protect Kai. It hurts now, but it’ll be worth it later on. Kai will sign with a team, and he will play in the NHL like he always dreamed about.
But I hate the visions that swarm my head every time I assure myself I’m making the right choice. This specific one is so clear, it feels like a thousand glass shards ripping into my chest: I’m sitting somewhere in a quiet airport lounge with important news figures surrounding me. They’re telling me about reports and updates about a developing story. Instead, my eyes are pinned to the TV over our heads. Kai is on the screen, playing at his first NHL game. He bends down for the face-off, his dark green eyes glinting behind his visor. Memories rush back of those eyes softening on me in his cozy apartment in Kitsilano, in his car when he drives us to the hockey club on Saturdays, across crowded rooms when no one else is paying attention. All I can do is sit in this lounge, surrounded by people who don’t care that I’m quietly dying inside at seeing someone I love go from being one phone call away to a distant stranger I only see on screen.
My breath catches. Tears rim my eyes.
