Page 5 of Change My Mind
And then, at fourteen, Elijah Vincent walked into my life and ruined everything. Trying to beat him in terms of grades was my motivation for those two GCSE years, where we went toe to toe with one another.
It was a source of great annoyance that come results day, in all three core subjects, we got the exact same grade. It felt like too much to see if there was a way to find out the exact breakdown of marks, to see if I beat him anywhere, but I did contemplate it. Instead, I just had to let the knowledge that I got an A* to his A in history keep me warm at night.
A-Levels took us down different forks on a onceshared path, so he stopped being the only thing I thought about morning, noon, and night. But, for those two years, Elijah was the bane of my existence.
With distance, I came to accept that he was also the person who made me better. He somehow managed to make me less bitter. I had a bee in my bonnet about being one of five, always feeling like I had to prove myself amongst them and never quite succeeding. When Elijah came about, I cared less about being one of five and focused all my attention on beatinghim. It was a more enticing motivator.
Anyway, my Elijah would never have become a chef. His lifelong plan was to go into finance.
“Oh, yeah, that would be great. It’s good that Dad and Xander found a new head chef.” They’d been looking for nearly three months. At one point, Dad had even asked if I would consider taking the job. I immediately said no. I was a good cook, but I had no desire to run a kitchen. Even if it was to help my dad out.
“Yeah. He’s good. Great, actually. He has a lot of experience running a kitchen, good creative ideas, and understands the importance of working seasonally. Your father and Xander are enamoured with him and can’t wait for him to crack on.” She sounded relieved.
It must have taken more out of Dad than either of them had been letting on in our weekly phone calls, and that was always a worry.
“As long as it means they are out of the kitchen again, it can only be a good thing,” I said.
“They’ve been good at letting the other chefs step up and take the lead, so it hasn’t been too bad. But yes, it can only be a good thing that they have someone to spearhead everything again.”
She sighed deeply. A sound that spoke volumes.
“How’s packing going?” she asked cautiously. I still hadthree weeks before I absolutely had to be packed, so I had time. Which was why she was cautious to ask me about it. When I moved out to Montreal, I did all my packing forty-eight hours before my flight. That was because I could. I was leaving my family home, and my parents wanted to keep some evidence that I had once resided there. My childhood bedroom was like a time capsule of who I was as a teenager.
I looked around my bedroom and the half-full suitcases. The roll of bubble wrap that was too big for the four photo frames I needed to wrap. I thought about the rest of the flat and how there were growing piles, vaguely labelled ‘donate’ or ‘chuck’.
“It’s not—I mean, it is. I have plans for the larger bits of furniture. I’ve found a home for all my plants, so I will be saying goodbye to them next week. I appear to have more clothes than I originally thought, which is proving interesting given that I have only assigned three suitcases to this move, and that might have been too optimistic. Most of my stuff, I think, can just be donated or thrown away, which is kind of sad. I didn’t realise how little I’d allowed myself to settle in this space that I’ve called home for so long.”
“It might be good to just feel all the feelings as they arise and unpack them that way. Or you might just end up having a good cry on the plane back.” I could hear the smile in her voice.
“I’ve been having near daily check-ins with Rachel about this. The consensus is still that I might have a good cry on the plane even if I do feel all the feelings beforehand.” I laughed.
A laugh that sounded thick with emotion already. Deep down, I knew this was the right move, but I was still leaving the city that had been my refuge and my lifeline when I needed it most to go back to the city that I had needed to flee in the first place. Emotionally, I was all over the place and would be forweeks.
“And that’s okay. You wouldn’t be the first person to fall apart on a plane. I think your father did it when he left me in that city for the first time.”
Montreal was where my parents first fell in love. It was partly the reason that I chose to live here. If I couldn’t be at home, at least I could be connected to them somehow.
“Dad definitely cried when he left you behind.”
Mum laughed loudly, and my heart warmed at the thought that I would get to hear that laugh in person again soon. It was one of my favourite sounds in the world.
“I’ll let you get on. Love you, Adrienne.”
“Love you too.”
I took a deep breath once I hung up and stood, ready to carry on packing up my life.
Five
T-minus five weeks until Addie arrives in London
Hey Adrienne! It’s Eli, your new flatmate. Your Mum gave me your number. Hope it’s okay that I’m reaching out. Let me know if you need anything to prep for your return to London
Hey Eli! Yes, Mum mentioned that she had done that. Congrats on your new role at Vivi’s!
Everyone seems really excited about you being there
Thanks! What is bringing you back to London?
