Page 58 of Electric Blue Love
“We just have to make the most of it, huh?” he said with a smile. A smile that didn’t meet his eyes and didn’t crinkle the smile lines around his mouth. A smile meant for my benefit only – to assure me everything was peachy keen.
The weight of my life and my responsibilities settled back on my shoulders with that fragile smile. We would make the best of it. It’s what we did. We stuck together, we had each other’s backs, and I’d never resented it until now.
Achill hungin the air. The wind whipped around the buildings and the clouds drew together blocking out the sun overhead.
Bianca sat inside the diner with her back to the door. An older man with thinning gray hair sat across from her, a folded newspaper in front of him. In the middle of the horseshoe booth were the twins. They were easily recognizable from the photos, if not from the striking resemblance to Bianca. One brother stared down at a cell phone in his hands and the other moved a pencil over a pad of paper in front of him. Bianca twirled the straw of her drink and even without seeing her face I knew she was nervous.
Nervous I wouldn’t show or nervous for me to meet her family? After the way she’d run out of my apartment last night I was guessing both. My palms were sweaty as I reached for the diner door and I tried to trick myself by telling my brain this was just a breakfast with a friend and her family. No big deal.
But it was a very fucking big deal.
I didn’t do parents or families. Hell, I barely did people outside of the strict columns I kept. Work, gym, Leika, college buddies, clients. I’d put Bianca in a column, but nothing about her was that tidy and neat. She bled from column to column and outside of the lines in a way that I didn’t know where to place her or how to categorize her.
Her father spotted me first over the top of his glasses, looking me over in that way that dads do – measuring and judging if I was good enough for his daughter. I’d like to save him the trouble and let him know up front that I wasn’t, but instead I placed my hand on the back of Bianca’s chair and smiled politely at the man in front of her.
“You made it.” Bianca stood and hugged me. A surprising gesture, but one that put me more at ease. She pulled back and looked to the other members at the table who were now all openly assessing me. “This is Court. Court this is my dad, Glenn, and my brothers Leo and Donnie.”
I offered a hand to Mr. Winters which he accepted and pumped once firmly.
“We’re glad you could join us,” he said and motioned to an empty spot next to Bianca.
There was a noticeable absence to the group, but I didn’t ask where Bianca’s mom was.
“Coffee?” Bianca asked too cheery as she moved for the pot sitting in the middle of the table.
“That’d be great.”
I was grateful for something to do while the awkward silence hung in the air. I was sweating and miserable and wondering why I’d thought there was any way I could do this. Then my gaze slid to Bianca.
Her.
Her.
“So, Court, Bianca says you two met on a flight. You travel back and forth pretty often?” her father asked, and I was thankful he’d thrown me a softball.
“I do quite a bit of travel, but I’ve just got the one client in Connecticut, so I only get out that way about once a month.”
He nodded and looked like he might say more when the waitress stepped up to the table. The woman had an obvious shake to her hands even as she just stood there. I forced my gaze to her eyes in that way we all do when we’re trying not to make someone with an illness or deformity feel uncomfortable by staring at the root of their discomfort. I dismissed the idea it was drug related, she looked fragile but not strung out. MS, maybe?
I prepared to give her a polite smile and wait for her to take our orders, but when I met her eyes I froze. Bianca’s mom. I knew it even before I heard Bianca make the introduction.
She wore a nametag that said Lucy and an anxious, tired smile. All of this I noted, but what made my mouth go dry was the blue eye makeup. Less obvious than the heavy hand Bianca put hers on with, Mrs. Winters’s makeup had a more outdated feel. It was the type of look that said I’ve been doing this for thirty years and no one is going to tell me it’s not in style anymore. Everything clicked into place for me. Everything Bianca had hinted at but not said. Bianca adored her mother – she loved her fiercely and protectively. And her mother was sick.
I looked to Bianca and instead of the fun and playful look I’d always associated with her blue rimmed eyes, I now saw a girl who dared anyone to harm the people she loved. Electric blue armor.
I stood and took Mrs. Winters’s hand gently. A gesture I could tell took her by surprise in the best of ways.
“It’s great to meet you Mrs. Winters. You’ve raised a really lovely daughter,” I said, and peered down at Bianca, suddenly afraid I’d said or done all the wrong things, but her smile was reassuring.
Bianca’s mom grinned too and then shooed me back to my seat.
“Bianca is lovely all on her own. Always has been.” She cast a quick loving look down at her daughter and my insides actually hurt at the familial love at the table. What would it have been like to be part of a family like this? It was a question I hadn’t allowed myself to ask. Ever.
“I’m sorry I can’t join you for breakfast. We’re short staffed this morning.” She pointed with a pen around the busy diner.
“I want pancakes,” Leo spoke without looking up from his sketch pad.
“Me too,” Donnie said, pulling his gaze from his cell but only for a quick glance at his mother.
