Page 68 of Between Earth and Eternity
“She’s lucky to have a big brother like you,” I reply, trying to delicately fit a sushi roll into my mouth. It’s delicious, but not very graceful to eat.
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” He smiles gratefully.
“Just from the way you look out for me, I know you’re a good brother, which makes you a good friend.”
He squints at the last word.Friend.I know he doesn’t want to be just friends, but I’ll plant the seeds where I can.
The truth is, I made up my mind about Payson a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean I want to lose him.
“Itryto look out for you. You don’t always let me though.” His voice goes quieter at the end.
I’m not sure how to tell him that friendships aren’t one-size-fits-all. A person can fill different spaces in your life for different reasons. For example, El is the kind of best friend who lets me be fully myself. No reservations, no hesitation. We move through life together without worrying if we’re too much or not enough. Ori is the same in her own way, just a quieter version. A steady calm. But Payson . . . he doesn’t just want to help; he wants to shelter me, to keep me away from anything that may bring me harm. But not everyone needs protection. Sometimes, we just need understanding, a little push to be braver and better, and reassurance we aren’t alone.
I also don’t think he sees that the thing I need protection from the majority of the time is myself. I can’t change who I am, but I can grow, at least I hope I can.
“I am excited to meet her someday. All of your family,” I say to change the subject.
The corners of his mouth turn down, disappointed I didn’t respond directly to what he said. “Yeah, someday for sure.” It sounds more like a wish than a promise. “What aboutyourfamily?” he asks, plucking a sushi roll off a platter. I’m grateful he goes along with it, even if he may not want to.
I fill him in on my family and Elliot, spending a long while on E.P.S. and why I loved working there.
“I can see why you were so aggressive about it at the dinner,” he says with a fake laugh.
I cock an eyebrow. “I would call it passionate, but sure.”
He swallows nervously, picking up on the resentment in my tone. “Yes, of course. That’s what I meant.” Instead of sitting in awkward silence, Payson saves it when he says, “Are you ready for the less serious part of the date?”
“Definitely.”
There’s a thousand different places he could be taking me, but when we walk up to the huge biosphere, I’m pleasantly surprised.
“Ori and I have been meaning to come here,” I say, scanning the multicolored half sphere; the most dominant colors are shades of green popping through. It looks like a planet, maybe even what Earth used to look like not so long ago. We enter into a wave of humidity, but I hardly notice it as I drink in the lush greenery.
Vines crawl up the sides of the dome, brushing against the transparent ceiling, where starlight leaks through. The air is thick with moisture, and the scent of damp earth fills my nose. It is an engineering marvel and designed meticulously, a welcome reminder that humans can build with materials that are living, not just metal and steel.
“Do you like it?” Pasyson asks, unsure.
“It’s breathtaking,” I reply, but the words get caught in my throat. If this is just an inkling of what Earth was, I feel a sudden remorse that it is no longer the paradise it was meant to be.
“Let’s walk around for a bit.” He nods to one of the many paths, and I follow, still awestruck by all the colors and life surrounding us. We stroll through the biosphere wordlessly. Neither of us can squash the smiles on our faces in this controlled oasis. A couple of times, I think Payson is about to grab my hand, but he doesn’t. I feel guilty that I’m relieved.
Eventually, we find a bench under low-hanging tree branches, enchanted that there is an actual tree in here at all.
“Thank you for agreeing to go on a date with me,” he starts. “Especially after . . . well, you know.”
“I’m having a good time with you, Pace. Thank you for taking me out,” I reply, weighing his intentions. His blue eyes scan the hanging branches above, letting me admire him for a moment. I can see how falling for Payson would be easy. He is kind,attentive, and smart. The bonus is that he’s handsome in that boyish kind of way. The freckles add a lot to the aura of likability he projects. There are a plethora of women who would be lucky to be in a relationship with him.
“I really like you, Skyler.”
Oh no.
“I like you too, Payson—”
I mean to addas a friend, but he goes on before I can.
“I know you were upset about what you saw on Sega, but do you think we can move on?” His eyes fall back to me, hopeful, and it stings my heart.
The problem is, I can’t expect him to tell me everything when I have secrets of my own, possibly even more sinister. Maybe all of this will blow over when we get to Eden and we can investigate what we both know when we are no longer limited to the walls of Zenith.
