Page 111 of Between Earth and Eternity
“You sure?”
I nod. “If I’m going to join a secret group of revolutionists, then I need to prove I can do hard things . . . scary things.” IfI can do this, this seemingly trivial thing, maybe I can prove to myself that I truly am ready for it.
Vallen lets go slowly, allowing his grip to fade away, and I feel a rush of adrenaline creep into my veins.
Above and below, in every which way, there is only me and the heavens, my body and mind lucid, as if the stars themselves call to me.
This isn’t so bad after all, I think to myself.
I blink, and for a moment, I’m back on Earth, back on my hill overlooking Wasatch, but that woman is climbing more than mountains now; she is a skywalker, wandering strange trails of starlight instead of dusty, beaten paths.
And yet I still miss it. Earth is still out there somewhere in the void, an incomprehensible amount of miles away. I can still feel it, my home. Our home. As much as Alister wants us all to wipe it from memory, it will always remain on some plane of existence.
I feel a little too confident and make the mistake of looking behind me to see how far I’ve floated away from Vallen. My heart nearly jumps into my throat.
“Alright, that was enough solo time for my taste,” I say, swallowing my fear.
Vallen grins, wordlessly tugging on the tether at my waist connecting me to him. I reach out, and he pulls me into his arms, helmets awkwardly bouncing against each other.
“That’s better,” I say through a laugh. “My family will have a hard time believing I did this. Especially Elliot. ”
I picture him, golden hair and brown eyes crinkling as he chuckles at something I said. All those times we made each other laugh didn’t seem fake; he never acted like he held any resentment toward me. Except when I was ungrateful about being pulled from the Lottery, but the longer we’re apart the more I worry I may have missed other signs of his true feelings.
“What’s the matter?” Val asks, keeping his arms around my waist.
I sigh. “Back on Sega, I ran into a friend. She said some things about El I haven’t been able to shake off.” I fill Vallen in, sparing the monotonous details as much as I can. “I ended up being the one leaving him behind. He must be so disappointed in me for holding him back and then abandoning him.”
“I don’t believe that’s true,” Vallen says, shaking his head.
“You don’t know him.”
“No, but I know you, and you are worth it. And he’ll tell you the same thing when you see him again.”
“You really think so?”
“I do. Technically, it’s my fault anyway. Your name may have been drawn out of pure luck, but if he wants to be mad at anyone, he can take it out on me.”
Picturing Vallen and Elliot talking to one another is an image that is hard to conjure.
“He’ll never believe that you and I are . . . friends.”
“Just friends?” A smirk plays on his lips.
“I haven’t decided yet,” I reply. He gives me a knowing look, completely aware that I have already decided and it’s definitely notjust friends.
His smile begins to dissolve. “You’re lucky you have a family, people who will never be disappointed by who you become.” He stares off into the never-ending horizon.
“What do you mean?” I ask, trying to meet his eyes.
“Both my father’s sons are not what he hoped for, what he needs. One too soft, the other too stupid. I can look and play the part, but I couldn’t care less about sustaining the Mannox name. My brother has all the cruelty, enjoys putting people down, but none of the precision and couth to wield it with authority. I think my father realized when I was young that I would never be the man to live up to his impossible expectations.”
I grab hold of his helmet, forcing him to look at me, sick to my stomach at the thought of him in pain, mentally and physically, especially at the hands of his own father, who should be nothing but proud.
“I guess that’s why I’m doing all of this. I hate my father so much that I only care about proving I’m not like him. I believed hate was enough to fuel me, but then I met you.”
I breathe in a shaky breath, my heart pounding in my chest.
“You reminded me that every soul of Earth is worth so much more than my need to prove I’m not my father’s son. I needed my heart to be in this fight. It wasn’t before, but it is now.”
