Page 112 of Between Earth and Eternity
My greatest fear is that I’m not strong enough, Vallen’s fear is becoming like his father. We are both trying to prove something that seemed nearly impossible to me not so long ago.
“You are not your father, Vallen. You don’t need to prove that to anyone. As long as you know it, people will see it too. I may have thought that at first, but now I know who you really are.” He inhales a shaky breath. “Remember when you told me to call for you whenever I found myself in those dark places, when I wanted it all to end?” I ask.
“Yes, and I still mean it.”
“Well, if you ever need to be reminded that you are not like him, call forme. I will tell you thatMannoxis just a name, but you—” I pause to catch my breath because the way he’s looking at me takes the air out of me. “You are a good man.”
“I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear you say that, Sky. Thank you.” He closes his gloved hands around mine. “There is no sun nor moon that could rival the pull you have on me, Skyler. I’m glad I finally gave in.” The soft glow of the cosmos illuminates his eyes.
“I’ll always be thankful to the universe, to whatever force or fate had my name drawn from the Lottery,” I say. I can almost feel that invisible pull tightening, pressing us together. Neitherof us were ever in control. It was as undeniable as the stars, written and fated, always on track to collide with one another.
“My father told me something after my name was drawn,” I say. “Something that has been helpful for me to remember and that might help you too.” Vallen places a hand on my helmet, like he wishes he could touch my face, but this will have to do. “He said that we may not be able to control what happens to us; only how we respond. We can turn the bad things into something good,” I whisper, like a dark secret.
Vallen tilts his head, a smile on his mouth that could very well destroy me. “But?” he asks, sensing my uncertainty.
“But I don’t have anything to offer you—or Nova, for that matter. Not like Payson or Laz or the countless others who must be vital to the cause.”
A flash of anger skips across his face before his eyes seem to pierce my heart, like what he’s about to say is the most important thing in the world.
“We need everything that you are, Skyler. We need your empathy. Your kindness. Your fire that sparks something in others, including me.” He stumbles for a moment to find the words. “Ineedyou and want you so much that it hurts.” I catch the glimmer of tears in his eyes, and it breaks me but brings me closer to him in a way no physical touch could.
For the first time since leaving Earth, I am truly grounded, both physically and mentally. Vallen holds me, a steadiness that pulls me into his orbit and doesn’t let me go. He sees me for all that I am and somehow wants more of me. It’s here, in this moment with him, somewhere between Earth and eternity, that I have found something good, something I never thought was possible.
“I left Earth with a hope that there was something waiting for me, something better.” I swallow. “And it was you, Vallen. It was you all along.”
His breath changes to an uneven rhythm, like he can’t quite believe it; I intend to make sure he knows and never forgets from this day on.
“Never in a million years would I have ever thought I’d say this, but thank you for this, Val. Thank you for everything you have done for me. The Lottery, saving my life, all of it.” I try not to cry, since I won’t be able to wipe the tears from my face.
“You were what I was looking for too, Skyler.” His hazel eyes shine again with tears. “And even if it took crossing every star in this galaxy to find you, I’d do it all over again.”
I have to keep reminding myself that this is real, that Vallen Mannox just said that to me.
“You were looking for an anxious and fearful troublemaker?” I half joke, feeling a tear run down my cheek.
He smiles, brilliant and bright. “You are definitely a troublemaker,” he says with a wink, “but being afraid isn’t a burden, Skyler. You never have to do anything alone. Even when you’re afraid, I will be there with you. Do it afraid. Do it with me,” he says.
Vallen’s face mirrors how my heart feels.
I make a vow to myself to remember these words. If I could write a song with his words as the lyrics, I would in a heartbeat.
“I want to kiss you so bad right now,” I confess.
He smiles wide. “I can arrange that.”
He pushes the keypad on his suit’s sleeve, and the tether reels us in, back to Zenith. It only takes a few minutes, but my need to get my hands on him makes it feel like hours.
The moment the airlock door seals, he rips his helmet off, tossing it to the side at the same time I let mine drop to the floor. We both remove our gloves as he rushes forward, taking my face in his hands, and kisses me hard with zero hesitation, giving me exactly what I want.
Our lips haven’t touched since that night at the club, and it’s a drug I have been craving every second since.
Kissing Vallen is like a song I want to play over and over again. The touch of his large hands on my neck, ringed fingers digging into my hair. I know I will never tire of this melody as it sinks into my bones, a song I’ve never heard before but instantly became my favorite. A beat my body wants to dance to, to get lost in forever.
This. This right here is what human beings have attempted to translate into song for over a millennium, maybe even since the dawn of time. I thought I knew what they meant, as I’ve spent years studying their messages, but it wasn’t even close to the real thing.
Vallen Freaking Mannox.
I can’t get enough of how he handles me. Rough and gentle all at once. I reach up to the zipper of his suit, my fingers fumbling for a moment as they tremble against his chest. I pull it down, helping him shrug the suit off his shoulders while he guides me backward, pushing me against the glass, space and eternity at my back, but he is far more spectacular than anything beyond the window. I reach for my own zipper but he catches my hand. For a second, I’m afraid he will tell me to stop, but instead, he slowly, painfully slides it down. He gently pushes the sleeves off and over my shoulders so that the suit hangs around my hips, matching him. The brilliant glow of the galaxy highlights every perfect angle of his face, and I have never seen anyone so completely and utterly perfect. I grab the fabric gathered at his waist and pull him to me. His throat bobs at the motion, so I kiss him there, recalling the taste of his sweat and skin. It’s just as good as I remembered. Better, actually.
