Page 36 of Queen of the Night
Ikar
For a while, I leave Vera alone in her anger. I didn’t even try to attempt to speak to her after what happened last night, and even this morning, I kept my distance. Today, she walks behind me, and besides quickly looking away if our eyes meet, she blatantly ignores me. I swear all she did last night was twist that bracelet on her wrist around and around while she stared at the fire. Her fidgeting belies her… Anxiety? Fear? Anger? I’m confused, considering her behavior a vast overreaction.
A wry smile overtakes my lips when I recall a time my mother taught me to never tell a woman that, so of course I’ve kept my mouth shut.
So I’m the king. What does she think I’ll do to her? Haven’t I done enough to earn her trust? I’ve saved her life more times than I can count, gave her a weapon, we’ve kissed, and it seemedshe enjoyed it as much as I… and Rupi loves me, though that fact seems to irk Vera more than work in my favor.
I’m left frustrated and wondering what else I can do to fix this. I’ve tried to figure out what to say, talking to myself as Ipractice a proper apology for a situation such as this, but even after a morning filled with repeated lines in my head, none feel sufficient. But I have enough experience to know our journey won’t be successful with a group at odds with each other, and the success of this journey greatly affects my kingdom. There’s really no way to prepare myself more than I already have, so I stop and turn, waiting for Vera to catch up, hating the spark of fear I catch in her eyes when they meet mine.
I swallow and begin. “Vera, about hiding my identity… I’m sorry.” I truly mean it. There’s a part of me that’s relieved to not have to hide who I am from her any longer.
She seems to battle with herself, and I almost see her soften, then her eyes harden. “I don’t accept apologies from kings.”
“You are the most stubborn woman I have ever met,” I grind out.
“Good.” She turns her petite nose up. “At least you won’t forget me.”
“I couldn’t forget you if I tried,” I mutter impulsively.
My words hang between us—sparking in the silence. I see her hands grip the ends of her coat sleeves tighter, turning her fingertips white, and she blinks a little too quickly. My chest tightens with discomfort—I hadn’t intended to make her cry.
“You have nothing to apologize for… Your Majesty.”
She makes my title feel like a hot knife sliding between my ribs.
“My friends only use my title under official circumstances. No need here,” I say tersely.
“We’re not friends, so I’ll continue to use it.”
Frustration claws through my patience, but I force it down. She’ll rise to it, and I don’t want a worse fight and need for further apology on my hands. I turn and beginwalking again, neither of us willing to speak—silence taut between us. I’d intuitively felt the need to keep my identity close when I met her, and for good reason it seems. I found out soon enough that Vera is wary of kings… but she’s more than wary. The look in her eyes when she realized who I am was closer to horror and disgust than mere wariness.
I rub a hand along the back of my neck, then let it drop to my side. She has still offered no response, no questions, nothing. She seems almost apathetic, which is concerning.
“I had to keep my identity a secret,” I say, making one last attempt at helping her understand.
Her hand drifts toward her sword hilt like it does when she’s stressed, but when her fingertips brush it, she pulls them away and shoves her hands into her coat pockets instead, saying nothing. Does she avoid the sword because I gifted it to her? I try to ignore the hurt and remind myself that at least she’s still wearing it—for now. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tosses it at my feet when we finish this contract.
She doesn’t argue, so I continue. “It would be dangerous for me to travel the kingdom without more soldiers for protection, and not only that, but it would take much, much longer. My presence garners attention, people want to meet, talk… I don’t havetimefor any of that.” I run a hand roughly through my hair without thinking. “My kingdom is suffering?—”
“I get it,” she says flatly. “You don’t have to explain anything to me.”
She may be walking right beside me, but I’ve never felt more distant from a person. Rupi offers me a commiserating side-eye from Vera’s shoulder.
I clench my jaw, quickly losing patience with the stubborn woman. “Why does it matter so much? You didn’t know yesterday, and we got along more than fine. Now you knowand suddenly we can’t be friends? It doesn’t make any sense. Friendship is based on trust and respect, not what titles one may or may not have.”
“It should be that way; you’re right,” she whispers so quietly that I almost miss it.
“Itcanbe that way, if you’ll allow it.”
She smiles sadly. “You say I don’t understand why you hid that from me, butyoudon’t understand all of my story either.”
“Then tell it. Help me understand. I’ll listen.” I can’t help the exasperation that colors my tone.
“Since my story isn’t mine alone to share, I can’t. It seems we are at an impasse, but I think we should agree to continue our acquaintanceship for this journey, then we’ll part ways. I’ll fulfill the contract as I said I would.” She appears to nod to herself, more emotionless than I’ve ever seen her.
I scoff, stuck on one word that irks me more than it should. “Acquaintanceship?” I lean closer and lower my voice. “Do you often find yourselfkissingacquaintances?”
I know it was a low move. She double steps but catches it smoothly enough. Still, her posture is stiff and her cheeks pink. I’m not sure why I brought it up. Probably because I feel her pulling away, and I’m not ready for it.
