Page 47 of Girl, We Go Together
“Cayla, wait,” he said, his voice lower now, almost gentle. “I know I hurt you before. I’ll never forget that. But looking at you right now… it feels like God just gave me a second chance I don’t deserve.”
I froze with my back to him. My chest ached. I wondered how he could still have this effect on me after all these years, or was it because I was in a vulnerable state? Either way, I knew that being around him was very dangerous. When he grabbed my hand, I held my breath and then exhaled deeply before opening my mouth.
“Lamont—”
“Just dinner,” he cut in quick, stepping around to face me. “No pressure, no games. Just let me take you out. You ain’t gotta decide anything right now. Just… let me show you I’m not that same boy who broke your heart.”
My throat tightened. The word dinner should’ve been easy to shut down, but it wasn’t. Because part of me wanted to feel chosen again. Wanted to feel like more than just Oriana’s mom or Orion’s baby mama that he was finally trying to do right by.
“I got a lot going on,” I whispered.
I was standing in the middle of the supermarket, looking like the battles I had gone through over the past couple of years.
“I know,” he said with his eyes steady on mine. “That’s why you need a break. Just one evening. If I don’t prove myself, younever gotta see me again. But if I do…” He smiled faintly. “Maybe you’ll remember what we had before I ruined it.”
I stared at him, and every red flag in my memory was waving to get my attention. That alone gave me every reason to walk away. But still, I heard myself say, softly, almost against my will. “We’ll see.”
Lamont grinned, and that made me smile, although I didn’t want to. I could feel that old charm of his sliding back in place. He stopped smiling to offer me a response.
“That’s all I needed to hear.”
I walked off with my cart squeaking down the aisle, and my heart was racing for reasons I couldn’t admit. For reasons I didn’t want to admit. I thought I’d left it at we’ll see, but as I loaded groceries onto the belt, my phone buzzed in my hoodie pocket. I froze. Nobody but Orion and Zynea really hit me up these days. When I pulled it out and saw the name on the screen, my stomach flipped.
Lamont
I never changed my number since college. Guess he hadn’t either.
Told you I’d prove I’m not the same man. Dinner’s on me. Name the day.
My hands trembled as I stared at the words. It was bold, way too bold for my liking, but wasn’t this the type of approach a man should take when he was interested in a woman? He didn’t even ask if I wanted to talk; he just assumed I’d answer. And the crazy part? A piece of me wanted to. Another buzz lit the screen before I could stop myself from reading.
Don’t overthink it, Cay. You deserve to be seen. I won’t waste this chance again.
I stood for a moment, conflicted. Around me, people grabbed their bags and went about their business like my whole world wasn’t tilting. I typed, erased, typed again, then locked the phone and shoved it back in my pocket like it was burning me. Walking out to the car, I kept telling myself to delete the messages, block the number, and forget I’d even seen him. But deep down, I knew I wouldn’t.
It had been one of those weeks where I had fallen hard into my cycle of bottles, laundry, and Oriana crying through the night, all while I ran on fumes trying to hold it all together. Orion had been trying, I’d give him that, but it only took one little thing to tip me over. And tonight, that thing was his phone. I’d been rocking Oriana back to sleep when his screen lit up on the couch. My eyes caught it before I could stop myself and grab hold of the thing. Of course, it was Instagram. And what did I see? Heart after heart under half-naked girls’ pictures.
When he walked in from the kitchen, I was still holding his phone.
“So, this is what you do when I’m over here losing myself?” My voice cracked.
He frowned. “Cayla, you're tripping. It’s just Instagram. It doesn’t mean anything.”
To a nigga who used to physically stick his dick in bitches, I was sure some Instagram likes were nothing to him, but it meant something to me.
“Don’t mean nothing? You got a whole family in this house, yet you're drooling over these fitness ass bitches who don’t even have on fucking clothes!”
His jaw tightened, and he ran his hand along the side of his face before he responded.
“You’re being insecure. That’s not on me.”
“Insecure?” I laughed bitterly while shaking my head. “I had your baby three months ago! My body ain’t even healed all the way, and you out here double-tapping every ass on your feed like I’m invisible.”
He let out a long sigh, as if my speaking was bothering him.
“Man, I can’t even breathe without you finding something wrong. You don’t trust me, and you don’t respect me enough to see that I made every effort to change. So, what are we even doing?”
His words stung deep, and I hated the way they did. I hated even more that he came and snatched his phone out of my hand before he walked out of the room. He just left before I could respond, leaving me shaking with rage and shame. I sat there in the dim light. Oriana was fast asleep against my chest. So, I grabbed my phone off the arm of the chair. My thumb hovered, knowing exactly whose name I was about to type.
