Page 60 of Everything We Thought Was True
“That’s what you get for letting your mind wander who knows where. You snooze, you lose.”
I smiled, realizing I’d been deep in thought. “I was remembering how tough it was after my parents split up and my dad was with Ricky.” I looked down at my chocolate croissant. “Although... he worked at a bakery. Man, could he make some amazing desserts. That was his only saving grace.” I gave Kevin a sly smile.
“That was ages ago,” Kevin said soothingly. “Your dad has come a long way. You all have. Try not to think of that old stuff now, ’kay?” I nodded, and Kevin kissed my forehead. “Besides, we all know the way to your heart is through chocolate, so he got that part right.”
I smirked, put a forkful of the delicious pastry in my mouth, and let it melt on my tongue—along with the past.
Chapter Thirty-Three
TERESA - JOHNSTON, NY
1985
Teresa kicked off her flats and dropped her pocketbook and keys on the counter. She glanced at the clock on the stove. Five thirty. The kids were at friends’ houses for dinner, and Ronnie would be here any minute, so the two women would have the place to themselves for a few hours. Fortunately, Ronnie said she’d pick up takeout on the way over.
“Knock, knock.” Ronnie stood at the screen door, plastic bags of Styrofoam containers in her hands. “I come bearing the best of Carmelina’s,” she said, referring to one of Teresa’s favorite restaurants in New Rochelle.
Teresa opened the door and took one bag out of her hands. “Hey, you,” she said, kissing her cousin on the cheek. “You’re a godsend. I miss that place. Please tell me you got themozzarella en carrozza?”
“Hon, of course I did. Who in their right mind would go to Carmelina’s without getting that dish? A crazy person, that’s who.” Ronnie cackled, dumped the other bag on the counter, and pulled Teresa into a big hug. She let go and stepped back, arms outstretched. “Let me look at you. You know what you look like? A survivor, that’s what. I swear, every time I see you, you look stronger and stronger.” She nodded approvingly.
Teresa laughed and hit her gently on the arm. “Stop it.”
“I’m serious. You’re doing really great, Teresa, you hear me?”
“Thank you. You know what? I am doing better. Day by day. When Frank left, I didn't think I could go on. I didn't even think I could sleep in our bed alone. But I did it. And I'm still doing it. And each day, there’s a new thing that I learn to do on my own or get through without him. I’m figuring it out.”
Ronnie squeezed Teresa’s arm. “Life, apparently, goes on. You know what this means? You’re going to be okay, sweetie. You’re moving on.”
Teresa smiled, grateful for her cousin’s constant support since the separation. What a long two years it had been.
“So, how’s the new job going? Good?” Ronnie served hearty plates of food for the both of them.
Teresa had enrolled in a class in advanced typing and Gregg shorthand. She did really well in the class and had heard from the instructor that a nearby children’s hospital had an opening in the psychology department. For as long as she could remember, Teresa had dreamed of being a psychologist. She loved the idea of studying people and helping patients overcome their problems. Teresa submitted an application, put on one of her favorite outfits for the interview, and landed the job. She felt like she was truly contributing and knew the doctors and researchers valued her work. They started giving her more responsibility, and she even got a raise after being there only a short amount of time. She now made $2.90 per hour. With a forty-hour workweek, that was $116 per week. It felt like a lot of money to make on her own.
“The job is great.” She nodded, chewing her mozzarella. “Hmm,” she moaned appreciatively and pointed to her plate. “And so is this.”
“I’m glad it’s working out so well. I’m proud of you. And now that you have some more money coming in, maybe it’s time to hire that lawyer and get adivorce.”
Teresa’s stomach flip-flopped at the mention of divorce. She still couldn’t wrap her head around getting an actual divorce. She hated the idea of it, considering the time and attention it would take to unravel the marriage and life she’d spent years building up and living. A divorce was a kind of messy, prolonged death. And expensive to boot.
It would be easier if Frank had died. She could have mourned him and not hated him as much as she did at times. Time would freeze, and she could remember him and their marriage as they’d been before everything imploded. She felt horrible for thinking this, but she couldn’t help herself. If he’d died, she would have been a widow with all the privileges and pity that went along with that title and role. Instead, she was just a scorned woman with a soon-to-be ex-husband and no “other woman” to blame.
“I don’t know... I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet. Soon, but not yet.”
Ronnie nodded. “I know you’re nervous about it, but it’s not as bad as it used to be. Heck, I’ve paved the way for you.”
“I know I shouldn’t, but I still hate what others will think.” Teresa didn’t like admitting this, even to Ronnie.
“Screw them. Let them worry about their own friggin’ lives. Goddamn busybodies.”
Teresa knew the neighbors had whispered how she was separated with two kids and a husband who had cheated on her.If they only knew the truth, they would have had even more to gossip about. Never mind. She couldn’t do anything but continue to improve her situation little by little.
One way of improving her situation in the eyes of others would be to get an annulment. But that cost much more money than she’d expected—money she didn’t have lying around, ready to hand over to the Catholic church so they could declare that her marriage was a sham and needed to be stricken from the record. She also hated theidea that an annulment meant her marriage had never truly existed as far as the church was concerned. It wiped the slate clean. That would mean, by extension, that her children were bastards, born out of wedlock. She refused to do that.
Teresa thought of Anthony and Lena.How could anything that produced such beautiful children be invalid?
She needed to get a divorce at some point, but she dreaded the finality of it. The severity. So for now, she would stay in this limbo period, a wife with no husband and the mother of children whose father didn’t live with his family—alone but trying to graduate to independent.
