Page 61 of Everything We Thought Was True
Afew months later, Teresa attended a community event for the hospital where she worked. She sat at the table with colleagues from her department, including the psychologists, who always treated her with respect even though she was merely the secretary. They insisted she use the hospital’s car service, which made her feel important as she sat in the back seat, being driven to and from events by a professional driver.
That night, her ride home was a driver named Larry, who seemed to be behind the wheel frequently when she used the car service. He was easy to talk to, and she’d learned they had some things in common, including being Italian American and having failed marriages.
At a red light, while they were deep in conversation, Teresa looked at Larry’s reflection in the rearview mirror and realized, with a start, that she found him attractive. She hadn’t looked at a man that way—physically, romantically—in a very long time. The spark of attraction excited her but also made her self-conscious. She hoped she wasn’t noticeably blushing.
Larry was talking about getting through his difficult divorce. “I’m not sure I would’ve made it through that first yearafter my separation without talking to people who’d been there. It’s true what they say, you know—divorce, in some ways, is worse than death. It’s a horrible thing to say, but it’s the honest-to-God truth. You’re stuck being connected to this person because you have kids with them, and yet all you want to do is cut off all ties. It would’ve been better if they just didn’t exist anymore.”
Teresa sucked in a breath. No one had ever said that to her before. And here was Larry, telling her he’d felt the same way about his ex-wife right after his separation. It validated everything Teresa had felt at that delicate time.
She met Larry’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “Yes, exactly. That’s exactly how I felt too. And I never said it to anyone because I thought it was...”
“Messed up?”
“Yes. And I guess it is. But it’s how I felt. And it’s good to know someone else felt the same way.”
Larry fixed his gaze on her in the mirror, and she felt his eyes boring into her. She glanced away, embarrassed by his direct stare, but then forced herself to look back. He was still staring at her, and a smile formed at the corners of his lips. Before she could change her mind and start censoring her behavior, she smiled back. She hoped her smile conveyed everything she felt:I’m scared. Don’t hurt me. I want to love again, but I don’t know if I can trust. Be gentle with me. Love me. Adore me. Don’t leave me.
Chapter Thirty-Four
FRANK - JOHNSTON, NY
1985
Frank drove to Teresa’s house on Christmas morning, singing along with Nat King Cole about tiny tots with their eyes all aglow. He thought of his kids—no longer tots—and their Christmas-morning routine, which comprised eating breakfast in their pajamas while opening their presents. His gifts were all wrapped and ready to go in a bag in the back seat. He parked the car and looked up at the house, seeing the Christmas-tree lights twinkling even in the daylight.
He rang the bell. Anthony opened the door and beamed when he saw his father. “Hi, Dad!”
“Hey, kiddo. Merry Christmas.” Frank leaned over and gave him a hug. Anthony’s hair smelled like baby shampoo. Frank laughed to himself. His son was a teenager, and his hair still smelled like a baby.
“Who is it, Anthony?” Teresa called from inside.
“It’s Dad,” Anthony answered.
“What? What’s he doing here?” Teresa asked.
Frank froze in place. That wasn’t what he’d hoped to hear.
“He came to see us for Christmas,” Anthony answered, not taking his eyes off Frank and looking at him questioningly as if he wanted to know if that was the correct answer.
Frank heard rustling inside, and then Teresa appeared at the door, shooing Anthony back and blocking Frank’s view into the house. “Frank, you can’t just show up like this. It’s Christmas. We talked about this. It’s my holiday with the kids.”
Over the last two years, Frank and Teresa had been flexible about the holidays, splitting them up or alternating. This year, Frank was getting the kids on Christmas night, and the plan was for them to stay over and spend the following day with him, as he had off work. Today was Teresa’s time with them, but he’d wanted to surprise them with his gifts this morning.Is that a crime?
“I know, but I missed them. I wanted to see them. And you. I brought presents,” he said, gesturing to the bag in his hands.
Anthony’s eyes twinkled with delight.Such a kid.
“No, Frank. That’s not how this works. You’re interrupting my holiday. You can’t just mosey on over because you miss the kids. Sorry, but that’s unacceptable. And...” She looked back into the house.
“And what?” Frank asked, ignoring the rest of her comments. Now he was curious.Is someone in there?
“I have company,” Teresa said matter-of-factly, standing up straighter and looking defiant.
“Company? What does that mean?” She was hiding something, and Frank wanted to know what. No, he had to know.
“My friend... Larry is here. He’s spending Christmas with us.”
“Oh. And who is Larry?” Frank asked in an accusatory tone.
