Page 28 of Choosing My Happiness
“Give him another chance, Daisy…that’s all I’m asking.” Dad gasped. He wasn’t oxygen deprived…just panicking that I wouldn’t give Blaze a second, third, four-hundredth chance…I shook my head in defeat. It wasn’t worth arguing about. Not with a dying man.
“Okay Dad, I’ll see what he says and does. But I’m not going to be cheated on anymore.”
Dad visibly relaxed and closed his eyes, ignoring my boundary. He heard what he wanted to. The rest didn’t matter.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
I walked back out to Jim, who looked at my face and silently opened the passenger door for me. He walked around and climbed in. As he started the truck, I rested my head back and closed my eyes. It was happening again. I was questioning myself and my choices. My mother would call me selfish for thinking of restricting Blaze’s fun. She’d done it so many times before. I felt my carefully cultivated independence slowly being sucked away. A tear crawled down my face. I shouldn’t have come. I should have started home and dealt with the guilt when it happened.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here, what do you need?” I felt Jim’s hand touch my knee. I reached for it, gripping it tightly as I let out the breath I’d been holding. I needed the contact.
“Freedom,” I sighed, my eyes still shut. I felt him disengage his hand, change gears and then curl his fingers around mine again. I needed the thing that was being threatened.
“Freedom it is,” he promised glibly. I didn’t believe him. How could he give me back something that was being dragged away from me.
I opened my eyes and stared out of the windscreen bleakly. That was what I had in the city before coming back. Freedom from judgement, freedom to make my own mistakes, freedom to walk away from my mistakes…and I was feeling the pressure to give it all away to fit the picture-perfect image my parents wanted.
Jim drove past the turn-off to Bull’s house, and into the driveway of a dilapidated farmhouse.
He glanced at me. “It was my grandparents’ house. I got it a while ago and am slowly renovating. The roof was the first thing to be replaced.”
He pulled into a shed with other cars and junk, and hopped out. I slowly followed him into the house where he dug around in a cupboard and pulled out a helmet.
“As you wish. Freedom for the rest of the afternoon,” he said, giving it to me.
“Jim, you can’t take me on the back of your bike…it’s obvious I’m still considered an ol’lady,” I told him gently. Ol’ladies didnotride on the back of anyone else’s bike.
He turned around and handed me an old leather jacket.
“Who said you’re on the back?” he asked, before taking my hand and dragging me back to the shed.
“Ta-dah!” Jim pulled the cover off a vintage Harley.
“This was also in the inheritance from Granddad. Almost perfect condition.” He touched it reverently.
“I can’t ride your granddad’s bike,” I told him. It was beautiful.
He frowned at me. “You’re not riding it, I am!” He smiled a quirky smile. “You’ve got my regular bike. It’s not customized, so no one will pick it.” He pointed behind me and dangled some keys in my direction.
I looked at the redStreet Bobbehind me.
“You sure?” I asked.
Jim grinned. “Definitely. Uh, you can ride, can’t you?”
It was my turn to grin. “Yeah, Tinker taught me,” I bragged. Then the smile faded. The ending of those lessons with Tinker were the first time that my wings had been clipped. Dad had gotten pissed off and told me very clearly that girls belonged only on thebackof the motorbike, never in control. Mom had agreed.
“Hey, what’s going on in your head?” Jim’s hand cupped my face.
I shook myself. “Nothing,” I told him. He was giving me back the taste of freedom…I wasn’t going to blow this chance. I walked over to theBob.
“Helmet and jacket on. I’m not having a Janie monster tear me into shreds because you weren’t dressed appropriately. She’s worse than Bull in a temper,” Jim teased, putting his own gear on. I grinned, pulling the jacket on and holding the helmet.
“Jim!” I yelled as he started his granddad’s bike. He turned his head. “Thank you!” He waved it off as my helmet covered my grin.
I started the bike and followed him carefully down the driveway, then away towards the highway.
* * *
