Page 29 of Choosing My Happiness
We pulled into the lookout right at sunset. In all the years ofliving in this town, I had no idea this place existed. But then, I’d only had a few rides outside of Tinker’s yard, and only a few club rides with Blaze.
I turned off the bike and pushed down the stand. Jim was off his bike already and pulling off his helmet, revealing his big grin.
“How was that?” he asked.
“Amazing!” I grinned back and swung my leg over the bike. “How did you find this place?”
“Just riding around. I’m thinking of using it for a Valentine’s Day club ride.”
“It would be perfect,” I agreed. “You could get the prospects to bring up blankets, champagne, and strawberries for the couples.”
“Hey, that’s a great idea,” Jim said as he held out his hand to help me walk to the rail of the lookout. I placed my hand in his and stepped up next to him. The view took in all the town lights nestled against the main roads.
I shivered from the beauty of it.
“Cold?” Jim asked. I shook my head but still felt him put his hand on my hip and curl me into his body so I could soak up the warmth radiating from him.
“This is beautiful,” I said, looking up into his face. He grinned down at me. I lost myself in his eyes. His smile slowly disappeared as we looked at each other.
“You’re beautiful,” he rasped. I felt the words rumble through his chest. I closed my eyes at the magic of it, and leaned my head against him.
“Daiz,” he whispered. I shook my head against the voices warning me, listing the rules I was breaking just by being here. I just wanted them to shut up. I knew those stupid rules didn’t exist in real life.
“Please, just let me stay here for a moment. Let me listen to you breathe,” I pleaded.
He stopped what he was going to say, and instead wrapped both arms around me, turning me into his body. Somehow, my arms fit perfectly around his waist, and my head found the perfect place on his pec. I felt his breath tickle my hair as he rested his face on top. I felt safe.
I let myself relax and just breathe. Just a few deep breaths, and then the hurt hit me. I felt the lump well up in my throat. I knew if I stayed here in Jim’s warmth, I would break down. But I couldn’t move. I needed to stay here like this, here in these arms that supported me, protected me. Fuck what anyone else said. I felt the tears start flowing, and my breath turned shaky.
“Daiz?”
I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face into his chest. I felt his arms tighten around me.
“Oh, Daisy.”
The way he said my name was like an endearment. I gripped his body harder. I couldn’t let him go. He swayed us around so he could lean on the railing, and he rubbed my back.
“It’s okay, Baby girl. It’s okay…you let it out. I’m here,” he hummed, both inside his chest and out. I sobbed my heart out.
As night fell, I cried and released some of the pain and resentment I’d been carrying around for four years. Jim rocked me in his arms until the tears slowly dried up.
“I’m okay,” I whispered.
“Not yet, but you will be,” he replied, not loosening his grip until I pulled my hands to his waist and leaned back.
“Thank you,” I murmured, looking up at him. He smiled with one corner of his mouth.
“Oh no, thankyou.” He dropped his head and kissed my forehead. “Thank you for trusting me,” he said.
I took a deep breath and replied, “Who else would I trust?”
His grin glinted in the moonlight. “Bull and Janie?”
“Yeah well, I think Janie and the kids might complain if Bull holds me like this,” I replied. I felt him chuckle.
“Good point.” He smiled. “You hungry?” I nodded.
“Let’s go eat.”
