Page 102 of Embers in Our Souls
Since finding out this connection with Jerry and Scarlet, Tyler has been nothing but attentive with me. He’s been dividing his time between staying here at the house and being with me. Luckily, he picked me up today to accompany me here, so I don’t have to confront my biological parents on my own.
We clasp our hands and start walking toward the front door. We’re about to ring the doorbell when the front door swings open. A gentleman greets us, and Tyler’s face breaks out in a reserved smile.
Tyler stands beside me, his hand on my lower back, letting me feel his strength, as I walk toward the only two people that can give me answers. The man at the door has his focus solely on me. A woman is behind him, her eyes watching my every step. My breath hitches as I stare at the only people I’ve ever met that are biologically related to me.
“Hi,” I say in a whispered tone.
“Hi, Indiana,” Jerry says.
“Indiana,” Scarlet says, moving forward so she’s in full view.
They both look tired, maybe from travel, but I’d assume from days lacking sleep. This news has caused anxiety for them too.
“Jerry, Scarlet, can we come in?” Tyler interjects.
“Of course,” they’re still staring at me, but move out of our way for us to pass through. “Why don’t we sit at the kitchen table?”
“Sounds good,” Ty grabs my hand and interlaces our fingers.
We make our way through the house and I know how awkward this has been for them. There’s a layer of tension, excitement, and apprehension as we walk to the table.
“Can I get anyone something to drink or eat?” Scarlet offers.
“Why don’t I grab some waters and you three sit down.” Tyler looks at me and I give him a slight nod.
I move to sit down, the awkwardness settling back between us at the table. Tyler brings the drinks to us, then rests his hand on my leg, which has started to shake nervously.
“How was your trip home?” Ty begins. I notice he’s trying to calm me down.
“Everything was pretty good. I thought they were going to lose our luggage, but, in the end, that wasn’t the case.” Scarlet fiddles with the side of her cup.
From the way the two of them look at me cautiously, they’re just as nervous as I am. Even though I’m pushing thirty, I feel like a child in this moment. It’s like I’m a little girl; my parents sitting across from me, waiting to say something to explain my behavior. Except, I’m waiting for them to say something to explain theirs.
Looking at the two of them, I realize what a mix of the two of them I am.
Tyler said George had a funny personality, always making jokes and trying to make the guys around him laugh. In all the pictures, his grin is wide. There was something welcoming abouthim in all the stills I got to see. My younger brother was in his combat uniform and fatigues in the photos Tyler showed me. As I walked through the house after finding out my relation to him, I appreciated the photos with a new perspective. But sitting across from Jerry and Scarlet now, I see them in a whole new light. Now that I’m sitting across from Jerry, I can tell George favored our father.
“George looked a lot like you,” I say.
Jerry smiles, his eyes quickly moving to Tyler, then back to me. “Yes, everyone says that.” He looks down at the table. “George may have looked like me, but he was one hundred percent Scarlet.” He looks over at his wife.
I can’t contain it any longer and I blurt out the question that’s been nagging me the entire time. “Why did you give me up? Was I not good enough?”
The small smiles that both were holding drop and I can see the disappointment push through their features.
Jerry exhales and I can tell whatever pain he’s holding is let go in that breath. “Absolutely not. I know how it must seem, but?—”
I interrupt him, “You gave me up then had George. I need to understand why. It makes no sense to me, after just four years you’d keep him but let me go. Explain it to me.”
I see Scarlet and Jerry look at one another, then turn their attention back to me. I can see the pain radiating across their faces.
Scarlet takes a deep breath, looking down at the table and smoothing her hands on the lacquered wood.
“Jerry and I are high school sweethearts, but our parents weren’t too happy we were dating.” She looks over at him and gives him a small smile that holds so much love. He grabs her hand, and she seems to find the courage to keep going.
“We started dating freshman year and got pregnant when I was only fifteen with you; I gave birth when I was sixteen. Both our parents deemed we were too young to be parents. We had no means at the time to go off and get jobs. We tried to prove we could, but we knew nothing about life.”
She hangs her head and I see her swipe at a stray tear on her cheek.
