Page 17 of Embers in Our Souls
“Well, did you catch feelings? Have you seen her since? Why didn’t you get divorced?” Those questions are from Baylee.
“Umm…” I pull my hat off and scratch at the back of my head.
“You totally have feelings for her, don’t you?” Abby asks.
“It’s complicated,” I say.
“Dude, that means there’s so much more to say then,” Malloy adds.
“Okay, so it’s complicated and I don’t really know what to add. It’s a bit hard to explain and process. It got a bit messy. Lines were blurred in the end. Yes, I guess feelings were involved at one point. But I have no idea if they were two-sided, we never talked about it. After high school, we used to send letters while I was in the military, which is how we kept in touch,” I explain.
“That’s so romantic,” Abby says, putting her hand over her heart. “Doesn’t that remind you of that book we read a few months back?” She snaps her fingers as if she’s trying to remember the title while looking at Kennedy and Malloy. “The guy had lost his memory though. It was second-chance and she has things he left behind for her. Oh, it was heartbreaking and beautiful.”
Shit, is she going to start tearing up?
Then I see all three women look at me, while Malloy’s mouth quirks. Fuck, I can anticipate the question before I hear it come out of Kennedy’s mouth.
“Hunter, you should join book club. You would love it. Maybe this is just what you need to connect with us and get your mind off all this.” I see Abby and Baylee nodding in unison, while Malloy is nearly toppling over in laughter. Motherfucker. He saw this coming from a mile away.
As if he could sense I need saving, River comes to my rescue, “When was the last time you saw her before last week?”
“About six years ago,” I answer, ignoring the book club topic.
“And things didn’t end well?” Kennedy asks, apparently already distracted.
“No, I sort of put an abrupt halt on everything. I was convinced she would have sent me divorce papers right after that. But she didn’t. And I didn’t push for them either. I honestly don’t know why. I just fell into this deep sorrow after suddenlylosing my friend Georgie. He and I were serving together in the Army and he was like a brother to me. I didn’t really care about a lot of things after he died. I realize now it was wrong to push Indy away, but it’s all I knew at the time. It was my way of coping.”
“Why don’t you try to get ahold of her now? Maybe you can try to mend things,” Baylee explains.
“Well, the guys and I saw her last week and she has a son now. I think it’s pretty clear she’s moved on. So I think that’s all the sign I need. Now the only thing left is to sign divorce papers.”
Just thinking of divorcing Indy feels like rocks settling in my stomach and it’s heartbreaking for me. I feel a love for her that is everlasting and I have no idea if I can close that door forever.
CHAPTER 8
Hunt’s Prowlers
CHAPTER 9
Indiana
11 YEARS AGO
August 3, 2014
Dear husband/ pen pal Tyler,
I agree, I’m still getting used to the fact that we’re married. But at the same time, I’m comforted by it. It’s hard to explain. I don’t know what it is about you, but when everyone saw you as a storm, you were my calm breeze. Something about your presence soothes me. Whenever I felt my heart racing I’d rush to our spot over at the Dam, and the moment my eyes found you, I felt at ease.
What you’re doing for me, I will never be able to repay. You’re giving me the ability to feel independence. I’ve never been able to live on my own, to feel free from the responsibilities my parents put on me. I don’t know if I’ve said thank you before, so I’m saying it now. Thank you, Ty. I mean it. You’ve done something for methat I don’t know if many would have. Not even Derek would have done this, and he was my boyfriend.
My brother is letting me crash at his place this year, while I figure things out. He’s actually moving to Oregon in a year, so I’ve got a timeline to get my life in order.
Little confession though—my brother found the last letter you sent and he saw how you signed it. We’ve been caught and I had to explain everything to him. I’m sort of surprised he isn’t more upset. He had a few choice words, but I’m obviously an adult and he understood the position I’m in with my parents and my health.
He did tell me I could have gone to him for help if I needed it, but I explained I wanted to find a way to figure some things out on my own the best way I can right now. I trust he’ll keep this to himself, seeing that things are not great between my parents and I at the moment. I just thought I’d let you know I did have to lay things out to him after I left that letter out on the counter. I guess I won’t be working in law enforcement or anything like that. Maybe stand-up comedy would suit me best? Thoughts?
I found a job close to the community college, waiting tables. I work nights, while I start summer classes, getting a jumpstart on some courses before fall semester.I’m liking what I’m doing, especially now that I’m not focusing on biology as my major.
