Page 18 of Embers in Our Souls
Luckily, despite the secret revelation, my relationship with Bryce isn’t a problem. My parents, however, are a different issue altogether. We’ve had a few fights, ending in me hanging up the phone. They don’t understand why I’m so upset, whereas, I’m holding firm on the fact they lied for my entire life.
My health is still teetering a bit, especially as I don’t have a complete understanding of what’s going on. They’re still running tests to see what I could have. They think it might be Crohn’s Disease. Once I have more answers, they’ll start to see what medications I might be a candidate for. It’s been hard to find foods that don’t upset my stomach, especially when I’m running around all day.
The doctors were thinking that a family history might help narrow things down. So, I tried finding my biological parents, but, unfortunately, my records are sealed. Maybe I can hire a private investigator to look for them when I can afford it. Aside from that, everything else is a mystery to me. It’s going to take a lot more time and resources to get those unsealed so at this point, I will have to wait. It’s frustrating, but right now, Ihave to focus on getting myself healthier. Thanks to you, I have the ability to do that.
I did a little research and found out I can send you care packages once you’re done with boot camp, so get ready to accept those soon. I’ve got some ideas on what to send.
I think those are all the updates going on. How is everything else?
I was excited to receive your first letter and I know I’ll be anticipating the next. Hope you’re being careful out there.
XO-
Your tummy-troubled wife,
Indy
CHAPTER 10
Indiana
“Isn’t it funny though?”Roger drones on about his little work tidbit.
In all honesty, I can’t believe we’re still talking about it. The restaurant is filled to capacity and all I wish is that my Arnold Palmer were spiked right about now.
Roger and I are at lunch and I was initially excited to be out of the house after a week of shit sleep. Work has been nothing but endless meetings and late nights after I had to catch up following Noah’s brief hospitalization. I’m so grateful he’ll be alright, but now I’m working nonstop, and I swear my eyes are seeing double when I look at my computer screen.
Unfortunately, with this lackluster story from Roger, I’m currently fighting sleep at this table, listening to my boyfriend drone on about fucking spreadsheets, Excel, and organizing data for his latest meeting. I’ve zoned out as he goes on and on. Am I a bad girlfriend? Probably. Do I care right now? No. He hasn’t asked me once if Noah is okay, so my patience is waning.
He’s quick to pull me out. “Ana, seriously, can you imagine?”
I honestly hate that nickname he uses for me. I mean, my name is unique and he shortens it into Ana, not that there’ssomething wrong with the name. But to go from Indiana to Ana just doesn’t sit right. Everything Roger does is bland—even the way he cuts my name down. I suppress my eye roll.
“I’m sorry, I missed that,” I say, holding back a yawn.
“I said, could you imagine if they really did name it ‘Mr. Spreadsheet’ or ‘Master Plan’ like they had thought about doing? I think it would be a completely different world out there.” He looks at me with an expression that’s hard to read.
Is he talking about Excel now? Is he serious?
To think I contemplated bringing Noah today to finally introduce him. He’d be bored out of his mind. He’s spending the day with Kalli and her family; they’re going to the zoo. Vivienne is obsessed with animals and loves imitating their sounds. Noah loves showing her around and it makes me wonder if I’ll ever get to add to our little family. Noah would make the best big brother.
“I mean, do you remember that little paperclip on Word documents? Maybe that’s where it stemmed from. The sky’s the limit, really,” Roger continues.
Stab me in the eye with this butter knife. Honestly, what the fuck? I’m dying a slow death over here.
I simply nod and give him a tight smile as I take a bite of my sandwich. Since running into Tyler, I can’t stop thinking about him.My husband. Holy shit. I’m fucking married, although we’re separated for all intents and purposes, and I’m sitting here with my boyfriend. Who has no clue about this double life I’m leading. What kind of sick human being does this?
I’m terrible. I’m a horrible, miserable person. I’m leading Roger on. I’m married and I can’t keep doing this with another person until I make this right. All this time, I’ve let this marriage go on hanging over my head. I get it was done out of convenience, but it’s still a marriage nonetheless. If someone did that to me, I’d be furious.
I feel like there’s lead sitting in my stomach. I can’t take another bite of food. What kind of heartless person does this to another person? I’ve led Roger on like some sort of insensitive prick. I’m over here mentally berating him for being boring over Excel and his job, all while I’m the one that deserves to be judged. Hell, I deserve Roger throwing me to the curb.
“Ana, you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” Roger says, pausing mid-sentence.
I put my sandwich down, unable to take another bite. I look at him and blurt out, “I’m married!”
“Hey, how was lunch?” Kalli says as I walk through her house.
“I would say it wasn’t great,” I admit, dropping my purse on her kitchen island.
