Page 153 of An Unholy Affair
‘One of my clients is at the party. She… she met Eveline.’
‘Does Eveline know your profession?’
‘Yes.’
‘But meeting your client was a shock?’
He nodded.
Even though Kieran couldn’t hear his response, he continued. ‘Have you talked to Eveline about it?’
‘Yes. I… I broke off our relationship.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I don’t want to ruin her life. She’s just so…’ He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. ‘And I’m…’
‘Did Eveline want to finish your relationship?’
Grief strangled his heart. ‘No.’
‘If you hadn’t been a sex worker, or if you hadn’t met your client tonight, would you want to be with Eveline?’
‘Yes.’
In the pause that followed, he heard Kieran taking breaths, as if working out the best way to phrase his response.
‘Just say it,’ Jack told him. ‘No sugar-coating. I can take it.’
‘By ending your relationship with Eveline, not only did you go against what both of you want, you also made that decisionforher.’
Jack didn’t know how to reply.
‘By doing this,’ Kieran continued. ‘You told her she can’t make decisions for herself, even though she was clear about what she wanted.’
He squeezed his eyes tightly shut as pain lanced through him.
‘Growing up, your father made decisions for you that went against whatyouloved and wanted. How did that make you feel?’
His legs gave way, and he slumped to the ground, his knees bent, his back pressed against the cold stone of the pillar.
‘There’s a lot to unpack here, Jack, but I want you to consider the possibility that you broke up with Eveline tonight, not to save her, but to saveyourself.’
‘What?’ he croaked.
‘You grew up in a household where love was conditional. That’s extremely damaging and destabilising for a child. It teaches you that it can be taken away at any moment. It’s logical to believe that it’s safer to live without love than risk opening your heart fully.’
Jack thought back over his adult life. He’d never had a relationship before. His clients may have controlled the money, but he always controlled the sex. Being with Eveline was the first time he’d ever let his guard down, and it was terrifying.
‘Eveline’s been sober for a long time now. I think you should trust her judgement when it comes to what’s right for her. And you should stop punishing yourself for your father’s behaviour and your career choices. Allow yourself to be happy.’
His phone beeped with another call coming in.
Eveline Shaw.
‘Jack?’
‘Kieran, it’s Eveline, she’s ringing me. Can I call you back?’
