Page 152 of An Unholy Affair
‘Jack…’
Fuck, don’t say it. Please don’t say it.
‘I love y-you.’
He couldn’t breathe. Inside his chest, his demons were gleefully ripping everything they could find to shreds.
‘And I know you l-love me.’
He stared at the ground. If he saw the pain on her face, it would annihilate him.
‘I’m not capable of love,’ he whispered.
She stepped towards him. ‘Jack!’
He stepped away. ‘Please, Eveline. Just go.’
There was a soul-searing pause, then she turned and walked away. Jack followed from a distance, making sure she reached the rectory, then watched as she entered and closed the door with a thud behind her.
31
Jack stared at the darkness of the rectory, everything inside him numb.
What now?
Turning to the brightly lit façade of the Manor, the urge to drink himself into oblivion sucker-punched him. Hands shaking, he took out his phone and dialled. It connected almost immediately.
‘Jack?’
‘Hi Kieran, I know it’s late but—’
‘No, it’s fine. If you’re struggling, you must ring. Any time, day or night. Where are you now? At the Winter Ball?’
‘Outside.’
‘Have you had a drink?’
‘No.’
‘How are you feeling? What’s going on?’
Jack leaned against a pillar flanking the entrance to Foxbrooke Manor, his gaze still on the rectory.
‘Everything’s gone to shit.’
‘In particular? Has something triggered your need for a drink?’
Jack paused. At his first AA meeting, he’d talked about his upbringing but hadn’t shared with anyone that he’d been an escort. Afterwards he’d reminded Kieran, the group leader, that they’d met before at Saint Saviour’s with Eveline, then asked him to be his sponsor.
‘I’ve been a sex worker for the past ten years.’
‘Go on.’
‘I’ve fallen in—begun a relationship with Eveline and decided to leave that life behind.’
Jack hunched over, bracing one hand on his thighs as the true horror of the night flooded through him.
‘And?’
